“Hey,” Elliot replied, twisting a lock of Jackson’s vibrant hair in his fingers. “I’ve been dumping my problems on you for weeks now, forcing you to keep all my secrets. It’s only fair you get to do the same.”
“You haven’t forced me to do anything, Ell,” Jackson replied. “I—”
Whatever he was going to say was interrupted by the arrival of a rowdy group of athletes. They were loudly gossiping about some celebrity breakup, though Elliot didn’t catch who, nor did he particularly care.
The moment was broken, though.
He let his head fall back onto Jackson’s shoulder, enjoying the closeness while he could, and drifted off for the remainder of the train ride, soothed by the rhythm of Jackson’s breathing.
Jackson held Elliot's hand throughout the turbulent flight, but he still let out a deep exhale of relief when they touched down in London. As the flight disembarked, Elliot found out just who the big breakup news was about. And Jackson’s reaction to it felt like a fucking slap in the face after everything they’d shared, after the confession he’d genuinely thought had almost come.
Darius Hewitt was single again. And now he was out of the closet, nothing was stopping Jackson from going back to his long-time arrangement with the man, even making it something more. Cold dread ran through Elliot’s body as Jackson confirmed all of his fears.
“Fuck,” he said as he hauled his bag onto his shoulder. “I’ve got to go see Darius.”
Right, of course. It made sense. Because what could Elliot possibly offer? He was a downgrade in every respect. Not as fast, not as famous, not as wealthy, and since Darius had made a big show of coming out for his now ex…not as open about who he was.
Clearly oblivious to Elliot’s internal spiralling, Jackson bumped his shoulder. “Share a taxi?” he asked.
Because he was a hopeless idiot, Elliot nodded. He sat in silence as Jackson frantically texted from the seat next to him.
It felt like the end.
Like he’d lost something he’d never quite allowed himself to have.
“See you at training tomorrow?” Jackson said, leaning in as the taxi came to a stop near a run-down terrace in Edgware.
“Whatever, Jennings,” Elliot replied, trying to keep the hurt from showing on his face.
“Are you mad at me?” Jackson asked, grabbing Elliot’s hand “Is it the brand deal? ’Cause I’m sure you’ll get something soon, Ell. As soon as they announce you for the team.”
As soon as they announced him, right. Because it wasn’t enough to ditch him like this, Jennings had to rub his success in his face in the process. “I’m fine. Camp’s over, right? We had fun. So run along back to Hewitt,” Elliot ground out.
“This is about Darius? I’m going to make sure he’s alright, but then—”
“Oh my god, Jackson. Stop. Why are you telling me? I don’t want to hear about what you want to do with Hewitt.”
“Owens, you seem really angry right now, and I don’t know what I’ve done wrong.”
“You’re ditching me to go see Hewitt because he’s available again,” Elliot gritted out. “I thought this was… I don’t fucking know, Jennings, but I obviously thought this meant more than you did.”
Jackson glared. “You’re the one who didn’t want this to mean anything, the one who runs the other way whenever I so much as hint at it being more. But I don’t know what you’re bloody accusing me of now.”
Elliot flushed. “No, I…I get it, okay? I know I was asking too much, and it was just a camp hookup. Of course you’d choose him. He’ll probably get the Olympic call-up, and he’ll get you. Fuck my life, seriously.”
Jackson followed Elliot out of the taxi, waving the driver off. “I care about you, Owens, despite bloody everything,” he stated. “This was never just a camp hookup to me, and I think you know that.”
He heard Jackson's words, but they slid right off of him. He wouldn't let them hit. Couldn't. The reminder of Hewitt, of the Olympics and everything that surrounded them had brought him back down to earth, off the cloud he'd been living on at camp. Jackson should be with someone like Hewitt. Elliot was never going to be able to be what he needed.
“Then why are you going to him?”
“My friend is hurting, and I think I can talk him into getting the love of his life back.”
Something ugly twisted in Elliot's chest. As much as Elliot wanted to cling to the idea that he meant something to Jackson, that this was more than just a temporary thing, he refused to set himself up for that kind of pain and humiliation.
“Oh, sure,” Elliot replied. “So, it's not to get back together with him, then. To comfort him? Help him out?”
“What the fuck?” Jackson replied. “No! Why would you think that?”
