“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I know.” He kisses the top of my head and gently disengages from my arms. “I should let you sleep. I’ll look into it, yeah? Let’s put your mind at ease.”
“Stay.” I reach out for him.
He slips back into the bed with a smile and lets me wrap him in my arms again. “Just until you fall asleep, OK?”
“OK.” My eyes are already drifting closed, but I’m not ready for sleep yet. I fight to keep them open. “We’ll try again, OK? To find a monster. This weekend.” Then something occurs to me. “Oh shit. The weekend. Meredith is coming to stay.”
Adam pats my back. “Don’t worry. There’s no rush. I’ll clear out. Give you two some time alone.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Yeah I do. I’m doing this the right way this time around. I’m going to treat you the way you deserve. That starts with getting my shit together.”
“Adam!”
“No, really. I want this to last.”
“Me too.”
“Good. Then I’ll take you out when your sister goes home, and we’ll have a nice night out. Someplace fancy. Maybe even book a weekend away.”
“That sounds perfect.” I’m kind of wishing my sister’s visit wasn’t this weekend so we could do that tomorrow, but I also really want to see her. It’s been too long.
“Good. Relax now, OK? Get some sleep.”
“OK.” I give in to the urge to shut my eyes.
I’m just about to drift when something else occurs to me, and I need to get the words out before I lose my nerve. “Hey, Adam?”
“Mmm?”
“When Meredith goes home, would you… would you like to move in here? For good?”
He doesn’t even hesitate. “Yep. There’s nothing I’d like more. Now get some sleep.”
I can’t fight it anymore after that.
I blink my eyes open, memory snatching at glimpses of a dream where I was chasing something down a corridor only to realize it was me being chased.
I roll over, but Adam isn’t in bed. He isn’t in the room anywhere. “Adam?”
There’s no answer. Rubbing my eyes, I push back the covers and stumble out into the living room. I’m going to have to tidy up a bit and get things ready for Meredith. I’m picking her up from the airport straight after my shift, so it’ll have to be now or never.
But when I go into the kitchen I find the dishes washed and stacked away, the counters wiped down, and a handwritten message from Adam folded and propped up like a card.
Gone home to sort my shit out. Have fun with Meredith. I’m going to book something nice for next weekend.
There’s a big black spot where the ink pooled at the beginning of the letterl, like he paused there for a while, unsure of whetherto write the next word or not. Then the wordslove youare scrawled across the bottom of the paper.
I press the note to my chest for a long moment. He’s said those words to me before, but somehow this time they mean more. Like he’s learned the weight of them since that last time.
It makes me wish he was here so I could say them back. I guess that can wait until our romantic weekend away. I smile to myself at the thought of saying the words, of the smile on his face when he hears them. Before Adam I’d never said I love you to anyone, and there hasn’t been anyone since. I’m starting to hope there might not ever be anyone else.
A message pops up on my phone.
Meredith: can’t wait to see youuuuuuuuu! About to leave for the airport
