I can’t help it. I burst into a peel of laughter, and the receptionist behind the desk looks up in surprise. “Are you actually kidding me right now?”
“Jen, why would I joke about this? This is serious. You have to fix it.”
“Fix it? What do you want me to do? Cast a magic spell?”
“I mean, I just thought, you’re a nurse… so… maybe some little blue pills?”
“Oh my god, Adam. You’re twenty-nine. Just give it some time. You’ve been under a lot of stress lately.”
“Yeah, but, Jen? It’s been days. Do you know how often I normally get hard?”
I glance behind me, but the receptionist is looking at her screen and there are only a couple of older ladies waiting in reception. “I don’t want to.”
“I jerk off every day. Twice most days. I haven’t cum in four days!”
“Well I have news for you, Adam. It might be four more days. Or even longer. But you won’t die from it. I can guarantee that.” I hang up, and it takes me a full minute to reflect on how my choice of words might have come across wrong.
I didn’t mean it as a comment on his current situation. I only meant he doesn’t actually need to cum. Whatever. It’s done now, and he should know better than to call me at work for something so stupid.
I shove my phone in my pocket and try to drag my mind away from Adam and his dick. I just need to make sure I don’t see it hard. I know myself, and I know that’s a temptation too great to resist.
I don’t have much success keeping my mind out of my zombie ex-boyfriend’s pants, though. It’s a quiet afternoon. So by the time my shift finishes, I decide to implement an additional avoidance strategy. I shoot off a quick message to Molly, my ride or die, and execute a speedy change into the backup outfit I stash in my locker for just such an occasion.
The jeans and T-shirt combo isn’t going to turn any heads, but that’s not the point.
Half an hour later I’m pulling up a seat next to her at our usual haunt, Pour Decisions. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Molly slides a negroni across the table, and I take a long sip, grateful she knows me well enough not to mess around with anything less potent.
Not tonight.
“Oh my god, I needed this. Thank you.”
She waits until I take another sip. “What happened?”
I sigh. “Adam.”
Her thick brows shoot up another inch. “No! Not Adam. Jen, are you crazy?”
“Not like that. I am absolutely not going back there. Not in a million years.”
“Good.” Relieved, Molly takes a sip of her drink and settles in.
“The thing is though, he’s staying at mine for the next ten days. And I need your help. Because I’m definitely not going backthere, but girl, his dick…” I trail off. I don’t have to finish the sentence.
Molly nods sympathetically. “Yeah. OK, so start at the beginning. Why are you letting this asshat stay with you?”
I swirl my straw in my drink, feeling a little sheepish. “Because I promised?”
“And how did he manipulate you into doing that?”
There’s a pause. Manipulation is classic Adam, but maybe in this case that’s being too harsh. I also promised not to tell anyone what happened. Not until we work out what to do. “He’s… having a hard time lately. And it’s not for long. Anyway, the point is, he’s sleeping on my couch, and I promised him I wouldn’t kick him out until Meredith comes on the 8th.”
“Hmm.” Molly taps her chin speculatively. “OK, but do you want him there?”
“No! He’s still a massive pain in the ass. Plus, I don’t need that temptation. I swear to god, every second date I’ve had recently has been a no show or had some kind of serious personal hygiene problem. But I know I can do better than Adam.”
“Of course you can. He’s out there. You just haven’t found him yet. Or her?”
