Mine.
My lips parted, and his gaze dropped to them momentarily before raising to meet my eyes again.
No.
There’s no way. Did he really think…?
“Why would I do any of this, Vanessa?” Drustan asked again, leaning toward me. His nose was centimeters from mine now. His body was tense, his eyes held mine hostage. He knew where my mind had drifted; he was following my thoughts in real time.
I blinked at him, heat burning in my chest and cheeks. A little from embarrassment, but mostly confusion.
“You can’t be serious,” I muttered.
“Can’t I?” Drustan challenged.
I shook my head at him, sucking in a sharp breath. His masculine scent filled my nostrils and throat. I swallowed around dryness.
“But—but I’m not like you,” I said.
“I’m aware,” Drustan replied.
“But humans don’t—we don’t—I can’t have a m—” I cut myself off. Nerves twisted my gut too much to allow me to say the word out loud.
He narrowed his eyes at me and tilted his head to the side, something flashing in them that I couldn’t identify. “If you truly believed humans couldn’t, why has the halfling spent years trying to convince the people of my realm that they can—and should? Do you truly think your friend is so dim?”
I shook my head. I slid my palms into my hair. I gripped the roots of the strands, tugging against the damp braid at my back. I still didn’t comprehend a lot about bonds like this, but Audrey made it clear that the connection was somewhat devastating. Forming a bond and potentially losing that bond could weaken a creature like him.
If Drustan had a mate and lost them…
But Drustan had already fought madness of some kind, hadn’t he? He crawled out of the Gravhune. He’s the only one on record who has completed a five-year sentence. If he were able to survive the Gravhune, it would make sense that the loss of a mate wouldn’t be as concerning to him as it would be to a typical siren.
“You seriously believe?—”
“Iknowwhat we are,” Drustan abruptly cut me off. I flinched from his stern tone, and he frowned. “Contrary to what you’re assuming, I do not want to hurt you.”
“Why would I believe that?” I countered. “This isn’t, like, agoodthing for you, right? If what you’re thinking is real, this makesyouvulnerable, right?”
“I’d like to see anyone try to use this against me.” His lips turned up in the corner, as if my train of thought was amusing to him. “…Mates are always a good?—”
I shoved him away with my hands, startling him again. He didn’t go far because he was still a massive man, so when hetried to reach for me again, I lifted my foot that didn’t have a throbbing, painful broken toe and pressed it against his bare chest.
Right between his massive pecks. Heat flared in his eyes at the move, and I tried my best to ignore it.
“YoukilledLiam’sparents—you ripped their hearts out—” Drustan cut me off by grabbing my ankle with one hand. His fingers folded over each other.
“—and I would do it again if given the chance,” he scowled with his words. A frown pulled at his lips.
“Because you loved killing them so much?” I asked through a shiver. Cold chills had raced down my arms at the thought. I was again reminded of howalonewe were. He could rip my heart out, too, with little thought, and no one would find me. He could dump my body in the ocean, only for it to wash up on shore days later. “B-because?—”
His grip on my ankle tightened a moment before he roughly yanked me under him, sliding me away from the pantry doors so that I was flat on my back. He braced one large arm on his elbow near my shoulder so that he could lean down toward my shocked face. His damp red hair tickled my shoulders.
“I don’t lose any sleep over killing those fae, Vanessa.” Drustan shook his head. “I’d do it again, and again, and again. I lull myself to sleep at night, recalling the sounds of their screams, slowly morphing into pathetic gurgling as they drowned in their own blood. I willneverapologize for finding pleasure in that memory.”
A sharp pang of understanding hit my ribcage, and I hated that I sympathized with someone like this. That I had a past that even allowed me to sympathize with someone like this. From my vulnerable position on my back, I was still willing to argue with him. “All the more reason for me to be fucking terrified of you right now.”
Drustan’s lips pulled back, slowly, slowly. As if my words humored him. Something flashed in his eyes. Was it heavy emotion? Was it insanity? I couldn’t tell. I was too distracted by the speed of my heart rapidly beating in my ribcage.
“You’re alittlefrightened of me, that I will concede,” Drustan murmured. He pressed his lips together in that shit-eating grin before he continued, “…but that also excites you.”
