I want to tell you about the time Terrence won $1,000 from a lottery ticket. These days $1,000 is not such a large sum, but in the 1950s, it sure enough was. When Terrence and I went to collect the money, there were reporters there, and they took pictures. I had known they were going to be there, it was something special to get your picture in the paper then. I put on my best suit and brand-new hose and some high heels, even though I never did like them. I don’t know who invented high heels or why, seemed to me like they are never comfortable, and I was always one for dressing comfortable. I wore high heels for Terrence, on account of he liked them. But then, he had to wear ties sometimes and I spect that’s worse. At least with high heels you can rest a spell and take the pressure off, but with a tie you must be nigh onto choking all day. But Terrence and I got dressed up and had our picture taken holding the check and then we came home and talked about what we would do with the money. We talked about trips or home decorating or maybe even a new car. And then Terrence said, Flo, I hope you’ll be with me on this. I want to give the money to Amos Dooley.
Now, Amos Dooley was a guy worked with Terrence and a sweeter fellow you’d never meet. He was married to a woman named Angela. She and Amos had four kids and don’t you know they were the cleanest, best-dressed kids on the block. Angela got all her clothes from the thrift store and fromdonations from friends and neighbors, we all knew it, didn’t anyone look down on her for it. Angela may not have had any money but she sure enough had good taste, and her children looked like they stepped right off the pages of the Sears Roebuck catalogue. And her, too, I saw her once in a tweed straight skirt and a bow tie blouse and she looked almost like a movie star.
So they were nicely dressed and groomed, the whole family, and the house was clean, too, one of those places with the porches swept and the lawn never in need of mowing. But the house was about to fall down, ever in need of repairs, and their car was just a rattletrap that was always breaking down. I knew they had trouble paying their water and electric bills, and sometimes they had the power clean cut off. This was all because Amos had a bad gambling problem. He’d sneak off to the casino, he was in card games all over town, and he bought lottery tickets every week. One time he and Terrence were in a store sold those tickets and Amos bought two and gave one to Terrence. Terrence said he didn’t believe in such things and Amos said oh just take a chance, maybe you’ll win. He said if he finally won something he would stop gambling, that was a deal he’d made with God.
Terrence didn’t think much of that, but he was kind enough not to say anything. Of course by now you’ve probably guessed what happened. Amos won nothing that day, but Terrence did.
First thing he did was to call Amos and say this money is yours, you bought the ticket, but Amos said no, it’s your money, you got it fair and square, I gave you that ticket. He wouldn’t take no for an answer. He said tell you what, take me and my family out for a chicken dinner with you and Flo, howabout that. Terrence said sure, but it was really bothering him that he won and Amos didn’t, and so he asked me about him giving the money to Amos. I have to be honest and say I had a mental image of a pretty new armchair floating right out the window but I said, Yes, go ahead and give it to him. I want you to. We don’t need a thing, not really, and they need so much. Terrence said, This is why I married you.
Well, Terrence took Amos out for a drive, saying he wanted to show him a new calf just born over to the Lawson farm that had a perfect star on its forehead, Amos was just a fool for animals. And as they stood at the fence looking at the calf, Terrence gave Amos the money, and he told Amos if he didn’t take it, Terrence would be awfully upset. Terrence said, God works in strange ways, right? Well, this is His roundabout way of making sure you honor your promise to Him, because I’m going to keep an eye on you. Terrence said Amos commenced to cry but finally he took the money, and do you know he never did gamble again. So that photo was ever a reminder to me that sometimes when you give away something you get back so much you can hardly contain it. I’m still awfully glad for us giving that money away, Terrence and I, it filled my heart and lifted my soul. And I’ll tell you what, this morning I went to the back of my closet where I still have that suit and heels I wore for the photograph and I thought about putting the whole dang outfit on, even rouging my cheeks like I was going all over again to have my picture taken for the paper, Terrence on my arm looking handsome as could be, with his square chin and dimple right smack in the middle. I don’t think it’s any sin of pride to say we both looked real good on that day. Oh, I hope after I die, I’ll be dressed up fine and I’llwalk right into Terrence’s arms, and I’ll bet he’ll say, Where have you been? I’ve been waiting on you, he’ll say, and I’ll say here Iam.
People ask sometimes about what is the measure of a man. I believe I saw Terrence clear on the day I met him, and despite a bad surprise he presented me with and the hard time that followed, I never really deviated from that point of view. No reason to. Read this article which I will put after this page. In it is the measure of Terrence. I feel bad that I have to stick it in a letter, when where it really should go is into a golden vault.
Flo is sitting out on her porch in late morning with her eyes closed, inhaling the scent of the lilacs that grow along the foundation of her house. All her life, whenever she smelled the lilacs of May, she would think, Lilacs are my favorite flower. Then here would come the hussy peonies and she would thinktheywere her favorites. Then the bearded irises, with their ruffly purple petals and furry little tongues. (“Hold on,” Ruthie had once said, out in Flo’s yard and inspecting her stand of irises. “Do these guys drink water like a dog?”) Then the deep pink trellis roses came, and thentheywere Flo’s favorite. Oh, they were all her favorites, nearly every flower she came across, whether in her yard or a neighbor’s.
She hears a footstep and opens her eyes to see Madeline, the mailperson, dropping some things in the tin bucket Flo keeps on the steps to prevent Madeline from having to come all the way up the steps and across the porch. No need for that. Sometimes, on hot days, she leaves a bottle of cold water in the bucket for Madeline; on cold days she might leave an insulated cup of cocoa with many, many marshmallows.
“Good morning, Florence,” Madeline says.
“Morning, Madeline. How are you on this beautiful day?”
Madeline raises her chin. “I’lltellyou how I am. It’s good news, how I am!”
“What happened?” Flo asks, and then, “Wait. Do you want a drink of something?”
“No, I’ve got to make good time today. Because as soonas my workday is done, I’m being whooshed off to a surprise vacation. It’s Bobby’s and my thirtieth anniversary, and he’s taking me away for two weeks. He said I didn’t have to do a thing; he’d even pack my bag for me, to which I of course had to say, ‘That’s okay, I’ll take care of that.’ He doesn’t need to see my personals.”
“Keep the mystery, huh?” Flo says, and Madeline gives Flo a sideways glance and nods.
“But a surprise!” Flo says. “What fun!”
“Well, it’s supposed to be a surprise. But Bobby doesn’t hear so well, and when he talks on the phone it’s like he’s using a bullhorn. The other day he told me he was going down to his workbench in the basement to fix something, but I overheard him tell my sister that he and I are going to the Grand Canyon and could she take care of Boodles—he’s our cocker spaniel. Oh, I’ll act all surprised, I guess Iwillbe surprised, really, how can you see a thing like the Grand Canyon right there in front of you and not be all…Well, I believe I’ll be amazed.Amazed!It’s something I’ve always wanted to see, and I’d just about given up ever being able to do it. But I forgot something, which is that as long as you’re alive, you shouldnevergive up on those things you want to do in life. You ever seen the Grand Canyon, Flo?”
“Never have. Only in pictures.”
“You ever want to?”
“Oh, sure. But there were things I wanted to do more. I wanted to go to Africa. And also Japan. But I never did.” Also Paris, in a way. But alsonotParis; she had her reasons.
Madeline stands with one hand on her hip, appraising Flo. She’s a beautiful woman, dreadlocks down to her butt;Flo has always admired how she looks. “You still got time for some things,” Madeline says. “What about New Orleans? You ever go to New Orleans?”
“Nope,” Flo says, and she’s starting to feel a little blue. But maybe there aresomethings she’s always wanted to do that she still coulddo.
“Have you ever had a pedicure?” Flo asks Madeline, and Madeline smiles broadly.
“Every other Saturday, tena.m.Standing appointment. Wouldn’t miss it. Once Bobby even got a pedicure with me, but he was sweating bullets the whole time; he couldn’t wait to get out of that salon in case someone should walk by and see him in there, a giant man sitting on that pink chair readingStarmagazine. But mendoget pedicures now, it’s no big thing. And Bobby did admit later that it felt real good, soaking his feet in that little Jacuzzi. Don’t you love those little foot Jacuzzis?”
“I’ve never had a pedicure,” Flo says.
“Never?”
“Nope. I guess I always thought they were a waste of money. I figured I could surely paint my own toenails.”
“Oh, Flo, you should get one. Put it on your bucket list.”
“I think I’m too old.”
“Ain’t no such thing! I seen women using walkers and looking halfdeadcome in there, and they look a far sight better going out, too, ’cause their spirits been lifted. One woman I saw last time I went, she wasrealold, and she got glittery gold toes and she wasthrilledwith how it looked; she made Diep take a picture and send it to her grandson. Andthat woman also had dyed red hair, red like acrayon. You ever dye your hair, Flo?”
