“You have, Claire,” I concede. “And I am grateful.”
Paul gives me a measured look. “So, what’s next?”
Claire’s expression brightens. “Now, Rhys is going to do something that scares him.”
A puzzled crease forms between her husband’s eyebrows. “And what’s that?”
“I’m going to stop running,” I say easily, knowing in my heart that this is the only way forward.
CHAPTER 19
Jayne
Finn’s at a soccer camp, and Mikaela is at a friend’s for a sleepover.
Normally, I’d relish the quiet in the house. I’d pour a glass of wine, run a bath, maybe watch a show that doesn’t involve cartoon dogs or something blowing up. But tonight, the silence is bright and unforgiving, because Rhys and I have officially run out of places to hide.
I’ve spent the whole day rehearsing in my head the conversation we have to have once he’s home.
I’m going to say everything calmly, without judgment or sarcasm.
I’m going to tell him I’ll be talking to Daniel next week about going on leave.
I’ll be cool. Rational. The grown-up in the room.
Except…I no longer want to be reasonable.
Because somewhere between “I’m trying” and “I’ll do better,” my husband has stopped being my partner.
He’s performing our marriage the way he performs surgery, with steady hands, flawless technique, and absolutely no emotions. And I keep wondering, if I remove my job from the equation, will everything magically work again?
But…I already know the answer.
It won’t.
Because this is not about my job.
This is aboutus.
This is about how I feel that Rhys does not value me.
This is about how I’ve chipped away at myself, day after day, until bitterness started filling the empty spaces.
This is about how invisible I’ve become and how loud I’ve started to be just to prove I’m still here.
I’ve turned intothatwife.
The one who nags.
The one who pouts.
The one who picks a fight because she doesn’t know how else to be seen.
I don’t want to be her.
And now that I recognize her in the mirror, I refuse to keep becoming her.
We’re broken. I get that. But I’m tired of trying to glue us back together when he won’t even admit we’re cracked.
