How can that be? There are two people in a marriage, right? Both responsible. Both to blame. Right?
And I’m so fucking busy all the time, I barely have time to sleep, how the hell could I have time to piss my wife off?
“My wife’s…angry,” I say finally. “All the time, it feels like. No matter what I do.”
“Angry about what?”
“Everything,” I admit. “The hours, the missed dinners, the hospital gala—you name it. Sometimes I can’t even breathe without it being wrong.”
“That sounds exhausting,” Tory croons softly.
I laugh, humorless. “Yeah, well. Marriage isn’t for the faint of heart.”
She leans forward a little. “You’ve been carrying so much, Rhys. The department, your patients, the politics here…doesn’t Jayne see that?”
“She says she does. But then she’ll say something because I didn’t pick up Finn, or I forgot something at home, or I didn’t answer a text fast enough.”
“All this when you’re working sixteen-hour days.” Her sympathy is a balm.
With the floodgates open, the words just pour out. “Then it was about my going hiking. I needed a fucking break. I’ve given my family everything—thehouse, the schools, the vacations, the security. And it’s still not enough.”
Tory’s quiet for a beat, then says gently, “Maybe she doesn’t appreciate how rare that is. Most people would kill to have what you’ve built.”
I sigh. “Jayne used to appreciate me…used to be proud of me.”
“And now?”
“Now she looks at me like I’m the enemy.” I drag a hand through my hair. “I feel like a failure half the time. No matter how much I do, it’s never right. She’s always disappointed. I can’t win.”And now my son is looking at me the same way she does.
“She sounds…,” Tory hesitates, choosing her words carefully. “Like she’s resentful. Like maybe she doesn’t realize how lucky she is.”
I should stop this. I should defend Jayne or at least shut my mouth. But the words keep coming—sharp, tired, dangerous.
“She says I don’t help enough. That I’m selfish. But she doesn’t get it, does she? I can’t just clock out of this job. I can’t tell a patient dying on the table to hold on while I go pick up my kid from soccer practice.”
Tory nods slowly. “And she still works full-time, right?”
“Yeah.” I laugh, bitter this time. “She doesn’t need to—not for money. I told her she could stop years ago, but she won’t. Says she loves it. But all it does is makeher stressed and angry. It’s like she needs to prove something.”
She gives me a sympathetic smile. “I’m so sorry, Rhys.”
“It’s…hell right now at home,” I confess.
“You deserve peace, Rhys. You give so much of yourself to everyone else. It’s not selfish to want a little calm when you come home.”
I stare at her, feeling something uncomfortably close to relief, like she’s finally said the thing I’ve been too ashamed to admit.
“I…sometimes I think….”
“What?” she urges.
The words are just there. “That maybe Jayne and I need some time apart.”
As soon as I say it, I know it’s not what I want. I can’t even sleep properly without Jayne.
I’m just…annoyed, right? Just tired. That’s all this is. Right?
The office suddenly feels smaller, the air thicker.
