This is what I wanted, didn’t I?
Just this.
The man I married, asleep with our children, completely surrendered to the moment.
No pager.
No frantic energy or exhaustion so deep it carved shadows under his eyes.
Just Rhys.
Just theirs.
Just here.
My throat tightens.
There were so many years I stood in this same spot, well, maybe not this exact spot, but close enough, watching him walk out the door before sunrise or creep in after midnight, both of us pretending it wasn’t slowly hollowing us out.
And now he’s here, wrapped around our kids in a tangle of limbs and love and the kind of exhausted peace I used to think only existed in commercials.
I bend down carefully and lift the fallen edge of the blanket, draping it over all three of them.
Mikaela snuffles and shifts. Finn mumbles something in his sleep.
Rhys tightens his arm around both of them, protective even while unconscious.
I go to the kitchen and start the coffee machine. I make myself a cup and hold it, let the warmth of it settle into my palms.
The sun catches the steam rising from the mug, turning it soft and golden.
When I turn back toward the living room, Rhys stirs.
He blinks awake slowly, groggy, and adorably confused. His eyes land on me. He smiles tenderly, and I feel it way deep in my heart, my soul.
“Hey,” he rasps. “What time is it?”
“Early,” I whisper. “Go back to sleep.”
He starts to nod off, then stops, like he remembered something. “You okay?”
I look at him, my man who once lived half outside our life, who is now here, under a blanket, holding our children like he never wants to let go.
And the truth comes easily. “Yeah. I am.”
His hand reaches out, barely awake, searching. I cross the room and let his fingers find mine. He holds on, instinctive and sure, even as his eyes drift closedagain.
I stand there for a long moment, listening to all three of them breathe.
And right then and there, I let go of the fear, stop wondering how long this will last.
I’m not bracing for the fall any longer.
I’m not waiting for the old patterns to return anymore.
I’m trusting my husband, my kids, my family, and most importantly, myself to make this work.
These past months haven’t just been about Rhys stepping back from work. They’ve been about me stepping out of survival mode.
