“You’re not going to,” I summed up, “because of a mean thing you did to me almost a decade ago when you thought you were saving your best friend’s life?”
Walker nodded.
“Even if I’m not mad about it?”
“Areyou not mad about it?”
“I’m weirdly not.”
“How is that possible?”
“Because I already knew all the bad stuff. What I didn’t know was the good stuff.”
Walker waited.
“I’ve always known what you did. I just didn’t know why you did it.”
“It doesn’t matter why.”
“It does. It might be the only thing that matters.”
“Are you giving me the benefit of the doubt?”
“You were sixteen. You thought your best friend’s life was at stake. You were trying to do the right thing. It’s noble, in a way, when you think about it.”
Walker shook his head. “I went way too far.”
I gave him that. “You could’ve calibrated it better.”
Walker gave me a wary look, like I’d be wrong to forgive him. “I really hurt you.”
“I’m not that fragile. And what you said is old news. What’snewnews is that now I feel better. A lot better. So much better that here we are down in this basement bunk room, and all I can think about is how to get you to kiss me.”
“That’s not a good idea.”
But I crawled toward him. “What if I came over here ... like this ... and I ... very carefully ... did this?” I straddled his lap and sat on his thighs. “Does this hurt your torn meniscus?”
He shook his head.
“And what if I put your hands right here?” I lifted his hands and set them on my hips. “And then I put my hands here?” I crooked my arms behind his neck. “And then I came really close to you, like this?” I brought my face just inches from his.
“Lily, don’t.”
“Do you know what my takeaway from today is?”
“What?”
“I wasn’t wrong about you, after all.”
“What does that mean?”
“I’m saying maybe we should get to finish what we started. Maybe the answer isn’t for us to just give up. Maybe we’ve missed each other long enough. Maybe, if you really feel so bad, instead of punishing us both by keeping your distance, you could come closer and try to make it up to me.”
I held his gaze. My mouth was so close to his, I could feel his breath tickling the peach fuzz over my lip.
“Shouldn’t you be more ... angry?” Walker asked.
“I don’t want to be angry,” I said.
