“Just that I want us to have fun, and if it isn’t, you’ll tell me?” She’s got a doe-eyed look that would have me on my knees for her any other day.
I pause at the thought, and maybe she is right. That I’ll need to talk to someone. Maybe I’m over-correcting my habits and sexual patterns to earn validation from her. Have I jumped into this without thinking? A little. But that’s also just the potential ADHD, right? Maybe more than a little.
“I promise that I’ll talk to you about everything every step of the way, but you have to promise that you’re reaching out if you feel something is wrong too.” I level her with a stare that she tries to match before she looks away.
She mumbles something, making me place a cupped hand to my ear. “I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you,” I tease in a sing-song voice.
Her small scowl is parted as she spits out a fine. She’s just mad that I caught her off guard in her own game. “I promise to also make sure that I’ve checked in with you about what I want and how we’re going to go about doing things, but I do want us to be spontaneous,” I say. “Sometimes, the moment is going to feel right, and I’ll want to try more. Anything hardcore and I’ll talkabout it with you before we do it, but if I want to finger you or eat you out, or have you eat me out, could we just do a quick check in? You know, enthusiastic consent and all that.”
Her eyes are narrowed. “I’d prefer if we spoke about those at least a day before we tried it. I don’t want—”
“What if we talk about it all now?” I ask, feeling impatient.
She shakes her head. “A little down the line. Give it some time.” She sighs, shifting her weight. I wish she were sitting on the couch or a stool to give her knee some more rest. “You’re jumping without looking, and I don’t want there to be a hitch or something traumatizing happening to you before we get there.”
I lean back, arms crossed. “Fine. But just know that I want to talk to you about, you know, touching your,” I trip up on the word, my face burning with the realization that I just proved her right. That I will need to talk to her about things beforehand so I don’t freak out. “Clit play and fingering sooner rather than later,” I finally spit out. She smothers a smile and tries to give me an exasperated look, but it doesn’t land.
“Alright. We’ll table that discussion for a day when we don't have practice.”
I raise a brow but she doesn’t give me a reason why.
Fine then.
“Do you have anything else you’d like to add?”she asks and I nod.
“Who do you want to know about this? HR will have to know, and Brynn and Winnie know already.”
She hums, moving from the back counter to across the island. She’s almost within touching distance. I can feel the sparks of her body burn my skin the closer she is. Every nerve ending is turned on and ready for her at any moment. “I think that’s good for now? Let’s give it a month or two before we start telling the rest of the team.”
“And family?”
She blanches for a moment. “Mom isn’t in the picture; sister is still in Ontario.”
“Who did you visit during the summer then, with Kenz?” The question is out of my mouth before I can even hear what I asked.
“Grandma and Grandpa. They took me in when I came out. Mom and Dad struggled with it.” She drops her eyes for a moment, her entire demeanour changing at the thought. I reach out to hold her hand, to show her she’s not alone.
“Oh. I’m sorry,” I say. She shrugs.
“It’s fine. I survived. But since your sister is your person to talk to outside of all of this, she can know, and maybe even your parents.“
“They’ll want to know who I’m dating before it’s even out of my mouth. And Lucy will want to make sure that I’m not being an idiot, so she’ll try to schedule lunch with both of us soon too. She already knowsabout my freak out kissing you the first time.” Heat rushes through me as embarrassment settles into my chest.
Eloise’s hand is within touching distance. She’s so close, but she still holds herself at bay. I don’t know what type of self restraint she has, but I want it to break.
“Then we’ll cross that bridge once we get to it.”
I sigh. “That seems like a lot of bridges, El.”
She shrugs. “Good relationships have them. It’s easier to walk over them together than burn them.”
“So communication is key?” I ask. She nods. “Can you kiss me then?”
Her eyebrows furrow for a second before leaning in to kiss my cheek. The gentle brush of her lips against my cheek has my pulse racing. I’m sure she can hear it pick up, but she backs away, instead reaching for the fruit bowl to the side and throwing a banana at me.
“We can talk more later, but I think that was everything I needed to say for now, other than get your breakfast in before your skate.”
I bite my lip to keep from scowling. “You tricked me; I wanted a proper kiss.” I whine. Her smile is devious as she limps back towards her bedroom.
