“Oh. Sorry, man. I’m not…”
Oh no.
No no no no no.
“I was just—” you start, heat flaring in your cheeks, panic rising in your throat, choking you, but before you can say anything he rests a hand on your shoulder.
“It’s cool. I’m honored you trusted me,” he says. “Thank you.”
Your pulse is still pounding in your ears, but he’s not running away. Not making fun of you. He’s just standing there, still, like he was before you asked.
“I like you as a friend,” he says. “I hope this won’t change that.”
“Yeah. No. I mean. It won’t.” You swallow.
You can be friends with him. Can’t you?
Yeah, he just totally rejected you. That’s what this is, right? You asked him out.
You asked a boy outand he said no.
But he’s your friend.
“We’re cool,” you say, even though you’re not, but you hope you will be, when this ache between your ribs goes away.
You don’t want him to stop being your friend. Even if he did turn you down.
Now you know what Hope must’ve felt like when you said no to her, told her you just wanted to be friends. You should’ve bought her chocolates or something to make up for it.
“Cool,” he says, giving your shoulder a squeeze, then furrowing his brow. “Jeez, you’re strong. What do you do?”
“Just boxing. And weights.”
Plus running, and occasional kickboxing, and also your food plan and Coach Nico’s cross-training, which is usually jumping onto boxes or doing burpees or whatever.
“And I watch my macros, so—”
A car pulls up, but it’s not your dad’s, and Cooper doesn’t move, so it’s not for him, either.
From the other side of the retaining wall, Brody Connors emerges, backpack slung off one shoulder, headphones around his neck. He gets into the red hatchback, but before it pulls away, he looks right at you, a crooked grin fixed on his face.
You feel cold all over, limbs frozen in place, lungs seized tight. Cooper says your name, but it sounds like he’s far away, underwater.
“What?” you ask.
“You good?”
You’re… not sure.
Did he hear you and Cooper?
Does he know?
Do you care? You’re not sure. After all, your family knows, andthey still love you, and Cooper knows, too, and yeah, he rejected you, but only for a date, not for being friends. And you know Nour would be fine if you told her, and you’re not even sure why you didn’t, except for inertia.
You thought it would be the end of the world if anyone found out what was really in your heart, but the sun is still shining, and the breeze is still blowing, and Cooper’s still standing beside you.
“I’m good,” you tell him.
