“I liked it.” Ramin finally met Noah’s eyes. “When you held me down. I really liked it.”
And then he squinted.
“I also really have to pee.”
Noah snorted as Ramin slipped into the bathroom and closed the door. Noah followed and knocked. “There’s extra toothbrushes in my bag.” He always traveled with extras for Jake.
“Thanks.”
Noah paced, trying to make sense of what Ramin had just told him. He liked being held down? Noah had spent his whole adult life being careful with people in bed. Because of his size, because of his strength, because he was a white man and there were always power dynamics to consider.
“Thanks,” Ramin said, emerging from the bathroom smelling fresh. “I think I’m sober enough to make it home.”
“You don’t have to go.”
“I really should.”
“Please.” Noah knew it was risky. Angela and Jake were right next door. But after sharing a bed with Ramin last night, he couldn’t help wanting to do it again. “I liked cuddling.”
He liked what they’d done this morning, too, but that was a conversation for when Ramin was totally sober.
Ramin looked down, but he couldn’t quite hide his dimples. “I liked it, too.”
Noah let Ramin get settled while he took care of his own nighttime routine. He brushed his teeth and popped in his night guard. He’d ground his teeth off and on most of his life.
He peeked out and saw Ramin still in his shirt, so Noah kept his on too. Normally he’d sleep in just his boxers, but he didn’t want Ramin to be uncomfortable.
Noah slid into bed behind Ramin. “Is this okay?”
“Why does your voice sound weird?”
Ramin twisted to get a look. Noah opened his mouth.
“Night guard.”
Ramin’s face softened so sweetly. He leaned in and planted a kiss on Noah’s nose.
And then he snuggled into the pillows.
Noah clicked off the light. He was facing Ramin’s back, but they weren’t touching. Should he reach out? Pull Ramin in closer to spoon? Did Ramin only like being the big spoon? Noah didn’t mind either way. He’d turn over if that’s what Ramin wanted.
“Ramin?” Noah asked.
“Yeah?”
“You… want to cuddle?”
Ramin scooted back and let Noah wrap an arm around him.
They breathed quietly for a moment. Beneath Ramin’s shirt, Noahfelt something smooth and slick. He rubbed his thumb against it and Ramin flinched.
“That’s my tattoo. It’s still healing.”
“Sorry.” Noah planted a soft kiss on Ramin’s shoulder. That seemed safe, right? He wanted more, wanted to peel off their clothes, feel Ramin’s skin against his. Wanted to pin Ramin down to the bed and make him talk. Wanted… well.Wanted.
He couldn’t do all that, not right now. Instead he asked, “What did you mean earlier?”
“Huh?”
