“What do you mean, midlife crisis?” he asked.
“The highlights? Going to the gym all the time? The Lasik?” Aryagestured around his eyes. “He can’t handle the creeping footsteps of his impending forties.”
Ramin bit his lip. There may have been a bit of truth there. Todd’s skincare routine had gotten intense the last few months.
“Maybe,” Ramin admitted, going for another sip and finding his glass empty. Wait, was this his second or third? He’d lost count. But the bottle still seemed full. He held his glass out and David, good friend that he was, poured out another.
“Drink this first,” Farzan said, pressing a glass of water into Ramin’s other hand.
Ramin chugged it, annoyed that he had to double-fist. Water was boring. Like him.
He sniffed a few times, sipped his new wine. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught Farzan and Arya making eyebrows at each other, like they were telepathically arguing. When Arya finally shrugged, Ramin wasn’t sure if it was because he’d won or lost. But Farzan gentled his voice. “I’ve got to say something.”
Ramin’s stomach flipped. He didn’t like the sound of that.
Farzan took a drink of his own wine, swallowed, and set the glass on the coffee table. He ran a hand through his hair, blew out a breath, then straightened his spine and met Ramin’s eyes.
“Look,” he said. “You know I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Ramin said. Ramin was an only child, but Farzan and Arya might as well have been his brothers. They were ride or die.
“But I was never that crazy about Todd.”
Ramin sputtered. That didn’t make any sense. He’d been with Todd for two years. They had dinner with Farzan and Arya every week. David too, now.
He blinked and found his voice. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“Because you were happy! And that mattered more than anything. It still does. But, Ramin…” Farzan squeezed Ramin’s shoulder and gently shook him. “I don’t know how anyone can look at you and call you boring. He was an asshole. And you deserve better than that.”
Ramin squeezed his eyes shut.
“What if he’s right, though? What if I am boring?”
“Dude.” Arya grabbed his other shoulder. “You’re Ramin Fucking Yazdani. You’re awesome.”
Ramin shook his head and drained his glass again.
On Farzan’s other side, David cleared his throat. When had he slid down to the floor? He was snuggled up against Farzan, their fingers twined together on the carpet. Ramin thought of Todd’s fingers. Of the ring he’d so carefully picked out and sized. It was… somewhere.
Who the fuck cared.
“Huh?” Ramin asked. David had said something.
“Not to be the bad guy, but I think we’d better cut you off.”
“I’m fine,” Ramin said, shaking his head, but the room took a while to catch up. “Oh. You’re probably right.”
“Just looking out for you,” he said softly. Ramin liked David a lot, liked how perfect he was for Farzan, but he was still new to the group, and sometimes he acted a little intimidated by how close Ramin and Farzan and Arya were. Which maked sense. Made sense.
Ramin was definitely drunk.
“Thanks,” Ramin said. “I like you, David. I’m glad you and Farzan love each other.”
Farzan and David looked at each other then. Ramin could feel the love radiating off them like a furnace.
He used to have that with Todd. Didn’t he?
He did. He knew he did. He’d loved Todd with his whole heart. And Todd had loved him, too. Once.
