“I’ll be there as soon as I can. We’re not done talking about this.”
“Breathe,” Ramin said as he tried to fold Noah’s singlet into something that would pack nicely. “Don’t forget to breathe.”
He was right. Noahwasholding his breath. From anxiety, from anger, from a million feelings all at war within him, and maybe if he didn’t breathe he could smother them. Better that than letting them burn everything down.
He pinched his cross so hard he was surprised it didn’t snap in two, then took one steady breath. “Thanks.”
Noah shoved the last of his stuff into his backpack and zipped it up. “I’ve gotta get to the train station.”
“Just let me pack my stuff too, I won’t take long.”
“You don’t have to come with me.” This was Noah’s problem, not Ramin’s. Yesterday had been so perfect, and now he was ruining everything. His plans for today, a lazy breakfast, visiting museums, drinkingwine. Or just staying in bed, lost in each other. It had all gone out the window.
“I don’t mind,” Ramin said.
“I’m good. Really. You stay.”
Ramin stared at him, and Noah had the sinking feeling that he’d said something wrong, but when he tried to figure out what, his brain kept showing him images of Jake in a hospital bed, hooked up to machines, crying for his dad.
He shoved his feet into his shoes. Ramin gave up on packing and grabbed his own.
“At least let me walk with you.”
“I’ll call a cab,” Noah said.
“You saw the roads. We’ll get there faster walking. Come on.”
Ramin was right, of course. Power-walking took less than ten minutes, climbing uphill the entire way. Sweat drenched Noah’s back, leaving a huge wet oval beneath his backpack. Ramin somehow managed to walk and use his phone at the same time.
“I found you a ticket on the next train,” he said. “It’s boarding in fifteen minutes. We can slow down a bit.”
“Thank you,” Noah said. It hadn’t even occurred to him to check the time tables. He didn’t slow down, though. He couldn’t. His legs wouldn’t stop.
His son was in the hospital. Fear clawed at his throat. Why had he let Angela take Jake? Why hadn’t he insisted they go together?
He was selfish, that’s why. He’d wanted to get away with Ramin.
And most selfish of all, every time he looked at Ramin, a really messed-up part of him knew that he’d make the same choice again.
They reached the station, scanned the screens, found the right platform. The train wasn’t even there yet.
“It’s probably coming from somewhere,” Ramin said as Noah paced. “It’ll be okay.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” Noah ran a hand through his messy hair. He looked down and stopped. “How long has my shirt been backward?”
“Since you put it on,” Ramin said, lips pressed together to hold in a smile. “I didn’t want to slow you down.”
Noah managed a little bit of a chuckle. “Thanks.”
As Ramin helped him sort it out, they heard the whistle, then watched as the train slowly pulled in.
“Thank you. For everything. Really.” Noah pulled Ramin in for a kiss. He didn’t even stop to see who was watching.
“Thank you,” Ramin murmured against his lips. “Yesterday was magical.”
“And today’s a disaster.” Noah sighed. “I’ll make it up to you.”
“It’s okay. Go be with your son.”
