Noah shook his head. “I’ve wanted all this longer than I can say.”
“Then what?”
Noah swallowed. He couldn’t sayI think I’m falling for you. Even though it was true.
Instead he blurted out the next true thing he could think of.
“I wanted to try some butt stuff?”
Butt.
Stuff.
Noah’s cheeks started heating. What was wrong with him?
What’s wrong was, he was new at this. He was new, and Ramin had a wealth of experience, and he probably thought Noah was ridiculous.
Ramin smirked a bit, but he didn’t laugh. The knot behind Noah’s chest loosened. Ramin ran a hand down Noah’s arm. Noah scooted closer. “Okay, so, I guess we haven’t talked about this yet. I’m mostly a bottom, but I don’t think I can do that, for you, tonight. You’re big, and that takes more prep work.”
“Oh,” Noah said.
On the one hand, the thought of making love to Ramin brought his erection raging back from its embarrassment-induced flagging.
On the other hand…
Noah swallowed. He needed to be brave. “I meant me. My butt.”
Also, he really, really wanted Ramin to touch his butt.
“Oh.” Ramin licked his lips. “You sure?”
Noah nodded. He’d never explored the back door. Angela hadn’tbeen into it. None of his other partners had, either. And he’d always been too nervous to try it on his own.
No, that wasn’t it. Noah was adventurous, but in this… he wanted someone to show him.
He wanted someone who cared about him to be the first.
Yeah, virginity was a social construct, and it wasn’t like Noah had been a virgin for decades, anyway. But vulnerability still mattered, and this made him feelveryvulnerable, and he wasn’t going to share that with just anyone.
He wanted to share it with Ramin.
Noah met Ramin’s eyes. “Really sure.”
Ramin was the first one to look away, but only for a second. His beautiful skin was flushing, from his forehead all the way down to his chest. When he spoke, his voice came out husky. “You need to prep?”
“Prep? I don’t have a prescription yet.”
Ramin raised an eyebrow.
It only took Noah a second for it to hit him. Different prep.
“Oh! Right. Yeah. Uh, be right back.”
Noahhad, in fact, researched this bit too. He knew how to do it with a plastic water bottle, though now that he thought about it, why had he left that sex store with condoms and lube and a singlet and absolutely nothing to help with prep? He’d walked past an aisle full of enema bulbs.
He finally emerged from the bathroom, feeling clean and relatively confident, only to behold the most beautiful sight in the world:
Ramin, naked, lying on the bed with his ankles crossed, fiddling with a bottle of lube.
