Farzan blinked at him.
“What if it does? Do you really think we’re not strong enough to get past it? Do you think we’d stop being your friends if that happened?”
“Maybe,” Farzan murmured.
Ramin shot Farzan the saddest look just then, and Farzan wanted to crawl into a hole. No one didwoundedquite like Ramin. Something about his eyebrows.
“Let me ask you this,” Arya said. “What do you actually want?”
“What?”
“Your future. You close your eyes and imagine it, what does it look like? What are you doing?Whoare you doing?”
Ramin snorted and launched another donut hole. It bounced off Arya’s forehead as Arya made his eyebrows dance.
The truth was, Farzan didn’t even know. He’d long since stopped trying to envision a future, because every time he did, it blew up in his face. Being a teacher, or a real estate agent, or a translator. Being with Cliff or Jason or Sean or Omid or Brandon (fucking Brandon).
But then he thought about Arya and Ramin, sticking with him through thick and thin. Nearly thirty years of friendship and they were still going strong.
And yeah, his siblings were better off than he was, married or engaged or expecting. Fancy professionals who owned their own homes. But Navid had still asked him to be best man. Maheen had asked him to be her baby’s godfather. Hell, his parents had signed over their restaurant to him. Maybe they did believe in him after all.
Fuck, what if David was right? What if he was allergic to his own happiness?
Farzan blinked. Swallowed away the nerves in his throat.
“I want to run the bistro,” he finally said. “Be the chef. And yeah,maybe find a different manager. Expand it and make it a place where all the Iranians in town feel at home.”
“We’re with you,” Ramin said. “Every step of the way.”
Arya nodded.
“And… and I want David. I know it’s selfish, and I know I messed everything up. But I want him anyway.”
“It sounded like he wanted you too. Like maybe he was serious about staying. Making a life with you.” Arya cocked a grin. “Maybe his dreams are Farzan-shaped.”
Farzan ran a hand through his hair. It was still singularly unsatisfying. Why on earth did he cut it in the first place?
Oh yeah. Gay crisis.
“I really hurt him, though,” Farzan said. “How am I supposed to face him again?”
“You are the best person I know,” Ramin said.
“Hey!” Arya protested, though without any heat. “Okay, fine. Agreed.”
Ramin cleared his throat. “As I was saying… I know you can figure it out. But if you need our help, we’re here.”
“Always,” Arya agreed.
Farzan couldn’t stop the smile spreading across his face like the dawn. He didn’t know what he’d done to deserve such excellent friends.
But he wasn’t going to doubt anymore.
“Okay. I love you guys.” He took a deep breath. “I don’t know what to do about David yet. But if you’re serious about the bistro…”
“I am.”
“Me too.”
