“I bet. Hey, wasn’t Nate’s recital last week?”
“It was. I sent you the link.”
“Shit. I haven’t seen it yet. Everything’s been…”
Well. Where to start.
“I’m sorry. I’ll watch it as soon as I can. I’ve just been so stressed. My test is this week, you know?”
“I know. I also know you said you were going to do better.”
“You’re right. Shit. You’re right. It’s just…” Hot shamed welled up in David’s chest, like mulled wine about to boil over. “I’ve been a mess lately. Between studying, and then the whole Farzan thing, my head’s been in a weird place.”
Ayesha pinched the bridge of her broad nose, and David couldn’t tell if she was annoyed with him or trying to stop a sneeze. Eventually she let it go, and he figured it was the former.
“I get you’re busy, David. And I get you’re hurting. But you said you were going to do better. Then all of a sudden it’sOh, I’m going to LA to look at my new restaurant. Oh, my boyfriend and I broke up. Oh, my test is almost here and I don’t know a Riesling from a Rioja.”
Like anyone could mix those two up. Riesling was a sweet white, Rioja a dry red, and—
“Then you just go radio silent again.”
“I know,” David said, hiding behind his wineglass. “I know. You’re right. I’m sorry. It’s just…”
It’s just my heart is broken.
It’s just I don’t know what I’m doing.
It’s just I don’t know what I want anymore.
“I really loved him, A,” he finally said. “I don’t think I’ve ever loved someone like that. And I thought… I don’t know. I thought we’d figure out how to make it work. But he didn’t even want to try.”
Ayesha was quiet. For a moment David worried the call had frozen, but Ayesha blinked. She still didn’t say anything, though.
“Ayesha?” he asked.
“Yeah?”
He wasn’t going to beg her to make him feel better. He wasn’t sure how she could, anyway. “Just making sure you’re still there.”
“Mm-hmm.” She blew her nose again. “You want to know what I think, or you want me to tell you it’ll all work out?”
David didn’t like the sound of that, but still: “What do you think?”
“It’s pretty simple. What’s more important to you: this job of yours or this man of yours?”
“He is,” David said. “I was ready to give everything up. Stay here and be with him.”
“And did you show him?”
“I told him.”
“You told him when he was in the middle of dumping you.”
“Ouch.” But it was true.
“You spent your whole relationship with him—hell, you’ve spent the last ten years of your life—telling anyone who would listen about your big dreams. What did you expect to happen?”
David went quiet.
