LIAR
I think I’m going to be sick. I want to hide in the bathroom. I want to crawl into the hydraulics of the orchestra pit, descend into the bowels of the building, and never be seen again.
Anything to not have Liam looking at me the way he is. Like I broke his heart. Like he doesn’t even know me.
“Liam,” I say, because I don’t care what anyone else thinks. But he has to understand.
“I thought you said you didn’t do one for me.”
“I...”
“Do you really think that about me? That all I am is my looks?”
“Of course not.”
“Then why?”
I’m painfully aware of everyone staring at us. But I don’t care. I have to make him understand.
“Jasmine was upset, and I didn’t... I didn’t think you would see. Or know.”
“I thought you saw me,” he says. “I thought you were honest.”
“I do see you. I love you.”
He shakes his head. Tears leak down his cheeks.
I made Liam cry.
I step toward him, but he backs away, taking a jagged shard of my heart with him.
Dr. L is trying to shoo away the crowd around us, but I don’t pay attention to her. I need to fix this.
“I’m sorry.”
What else can I say?
“Sorry? Jackson...” He looks over the wall of lists again, like he can’t quite wrap his head around them. When he turns back, his eyes are still far away. “You’re not who I thought you were.”
The rest of my heart crumbles.
“Liam...”
“I can’t be with you.”
“You’re breaking up with me?”
“I’m not sure we were ever really together.”
It feels like he punched me right in the solar plexus.
I didn’t think Liam had it in him to be cruel.
Maybe he didn’t, either, because he looks down at his feet after saying it. Then he shakes his head and follows the rest of the crowd out, leaving me alone with Dr. Lochley, who gives me a look that tells me to stay.
She makes me wait while she takes down every single list. She’s careful too, removing the pins rather than ripping them off. Staring extra long at the list bearing her own name.
When they’re all collected, she turns to me. “Let’s talk in my office.”
