“Oh.” I’m suddenly very aware that we’re alone in Liam’s car in a dark parking lot. Our warm breaths are already fogging up the windows.
I always thought that was just a thing on TV shows.
“What do you want to do?” I ask him.
Liam’s hand clutches me tighter. The air in the car is still and close. He shifts and leans in. I brush my nose against his; his eyelashes flutter as he brings his lips to meet mine.
It’s not like any of our other kisses. And we’ve had a lot of them at this point. But they’ve never been hungry like this. He pulls his hand out of mine; the car key falls somewhere to the floor as his hands go to my hair again, pulling me closer, and I wrap my hands around his back, because he is warm, and firm, and mine.
And then his lips pull away from mine, and I feel a weird whine lodge in my throat. The throat that he starts kissing. We haven’t really done much non-face kissing, but it turns out hot lips on the hollow of my collarbone is maybe one of the greatest things in the universe.
“Don’t,” I practically squeak when he sucks on my neck. “You better not give me a hickey.”
I feel his laugh against my skin.
But turnabout is fair play, so I push back against him, press my lips to the cord of muscle along his neck. I try to suck on it but accidentally graze it with my teeth. He seems to like it, though, trying to pull me to him, but the PRNDL jabs me in my rib cage.
“Ow!”
We break apart, breathing hard.
Liam scrabbles in the dark for a second; his hand comes back up, clutching his phone, lighting up his face so I can see.
“Back seat?”
My heart is pounding so fast I think I could yank it out and replace the engine and get Liam’s crappy car running again. But I nod.
And then we’re both out of the car, and I squeal as cold rain makes it down the back of my shirt, and then we’re inside again, and it’s even darker in the back seat, and Liam’s hands are on my waist as he wraps himself around me, and his lips are pressed against my collar, and we fold ourselves to fit onto the seat.
And if I thought Liam playing with my hair was the best feeling in the world, it turns out I was wrong.
36
It’s not like we go all the way. I don’t even know what all the way means with two guys. In fact, we don’t really go any of the way below the belt. But he pulls my shirt off, and I pull off his, and I let him give me more than one hickey that will be hidden beneath my collar.
And the whole time we kiss, I can feel him against me, and he can no doubt feel me, but neither of us says anything about that. We just kiss, and touch, and kiss.
Still, Liam’s really too tall for the back seat of the car. And once we’ve kissed so much my lips have gone numb, I wrap my arms around him and he holds me and we just cuddle.
My whole body goes quiet as Liam plays with my hair, and I trace the contours of his spine with my fingers, and occasionally one of us pulls the other in for another kiss, but soft this time, generous and tender.
And I wonder what it would be like to get all the way naked with Liam. Not in a locker room but in my bedroom, or his, in warm lamplight instead of grayish fluorescents.
But my whole face burns as I imagine that, and I have to tuck the idea away for later. Much later. Because this is still so new,because Jasmine doesn’t know, because there are secrets I still haven’t told him, because I’ve never had sex and what if I’m not good at it? What if he doesn’t like it with me?
I don’t even know what kinds of things he likes. I don’t know how much experience he’s had.
The rain slows, but we don’t move. I could stay in here forever. I’ve never felt like this before. Like for the first time in my life, I’m right where I’m supposed to be. It’s scary. Terrifying. Because this has gone way beyond crushing. Way beyond liking. Or even like-liking.
I’m in love with Liam Coquyt.
The thrill of it runs through me, so strong I wonder if Liam can feel the electricity humming in my skin.
I love him.
I hold him tighter, and I feel his smile against my cheek. Everything is perfect.
At least, until the foggy windows light up with the glare of headlights.
