Cam takes his sides without even looking at me. He just nods,like I’m a server at a restaurant refilling his water. But his brows crease before he schools his features.
I take my seat again as Dr. L gives them both a few instructions I can’t hear. They’re doing the scene from Act I where Judas is yelling at Jesus for hanging out with Mary Magdalene, though Dr. L has them saying their lines instead of singing. I’ve never actually read the Bible—Dad being a lapsed Bahá’í, Mom being a lapsed Methodist, and me being a lapsed heterosexual—so I’m not sure how much of the scene is biblically accurate.
At first, it’s just Liam and Cameron reciting lines at each other. But then? I don’t know how to describe it. One moment Liam is just Liam. Yeah, he looks great onstage, the lights kindling his eyes and highlighting his cheekbones, but still: just ahotguy talking.
Then I blink, and I’m looking at a different person entirely: His voice, his body language, everything changes. He transforms.
And Cameron responds by doing the same. He’s no longer Cam,ex-boyfriendsenior actor. No longer someone who barely knows Liam. Instead, a whole life of friendship and arguments and history blossoms between them, as if it had always existed.
The hairs on my arm stand up as Judas takes an aggressive step toward Jesus, but Jesus stands his ground. He’s taller than Judas, but that’s not what makes him so impressive: It’s the set in his shoulders, the jut of his jaw, the blue fire in his eyes I can feel from thirty feet away. At auditions I had to lean in, but now I have to lean away or risk getting burned.
They finish their scene staring at each other, breathing hard as if they swam a race. Chests rising and falling. Cheeks flushed. They might even be sweating under the stage lights.
Then they blink. The spell bursts like a bubble. Cam looks toward Dr. L, but Liam’s eyes find mine.
I snap my mouth shut.
“Thank you,” Dr. L says from the table, and Liam looks to her instead. I can breathe again.
That’s all: “Thank you.” But I’m pretty sure, if she wasn’t a professional, Dr. Lochley would be up and dancing in the aisle.
Liam clears his throat. “Um. Thank you.”
He looks back down at his sides. Cam’s staring at Dr. Lochley like he’s not sure what just happened.
It’s quiet in the theatre until Dr. L waves at me. “Jackson?”
Oh. I’m supposed to grab their sides. I run up the aisle, take the steps onto the stage two at a time. “I’ll take those. Here.”
I lead them both out. At the door, Liam pauses and turns to me. “Was that okay?”
“You know I can’t talk about it.” But then I realize maybe he doesn’t actually know that. I try to soften my voice. “I’m not allowed to discuss callbacks with anyone. Sorry.”
“It’s okay. But don’t forget your promise.”
Out in the hall, Cam turns around, looking between me and Liam with a frown on his face.
“What promise?” I ask.
“If I get a part, you’ll put me on the shmoodie list.”
I forgot about that. But he’s certainly earned it now.
“Don’t worry. I’ll add you.Ifyou get a part.”
He smiles so wide you’d think I told him he got the lead. (Which I’m pretty sure he just did.) It’s alarmingly like standing in the hot spot of a Leko, warming my face while also slowly burning a hole in my retina.
Cam comes closer. “What about if I get a part? What do I get?”
He’s got his puppy-dog eyes on again, dark and twinkling. Cam does that sometimes: He’s attractive and charming. He knows how to turn it on. I remember how it used to be, when he’d turn his attention on me, right before we kissed. It used to take my breath away.
And he still likes to use it on me, mostly to mess with me. Remind me of how we used to be together. Of howI wasn’t good enough for himhe thinks he’s better than me.
It doesn’t work this time, though: Liam outshines him.
“Attention,” I say. “Like usual.”
For a split second his eyes widen like I’ve actually hurt him. Cracked him open and exposed something he doesn’t want other people to see. But then his eyes narrow. “Don’t you have work to do, Jackthon?”
