I didn’t want to risk bending over: The safety pins could only do so much to reinforce the structural integrity of my jeans.
“I talked to Alexis. She said she’ll switch with you at the tea bar for the rest of your shift.”
I hooked my fingers into Landon’s belt loops and leaned down to kiss him on the shoulder.
It was a good spot to kiss, I decided.
“You’re the best.”
Landon beamed at me.
“I try.”
When five o’clock finally hit, Mr. Edwards came over and relieved me.
“Good job today, Darius,” he said as he knelt under the counter to hook up another tank of nitro. “There’s something for you by your bag.”
“Oh. Thanks.”
Sure enough, in the cubby with my messenger bag lay a long windowed envelope.
The window just showed a white page, but the envelope wasn’t sealed, so I opened it up.
“Oh,” I said.
It was my first paycheck from Rose City Teas, a little over two hundred dollars after taxes. Not as much as I used to make at Tea Haven, but still. It was money that could help with soccer clothes. Or more underwear, since Landon seemed to like what I was wearing. Or a new pair of jeans.
But I thought about the broken dishwasher at home too.
And Laleh’s depleted college fund. And the school supplies she would need in the gifted program.
I thought about the circles under Mom’s eyes, and how Dad wasn’t bothering to shave anymore.
And I felt really selfish for some reason.
“What’s that?” Landon said.
“My first paycheck.”
He grinned.
“You can set up direct deposit if you like. But Dad likes to give the first check on paper. Says it feels more momentous that way.”
“Cool,” I said.
And it was cool.
But I had this lump in my stomach.
I knew I was supposed to be happy, but all I felt was tired.
And I had this thought.
Like I wasn’t supposed to feel this way.
“Hey.” Landon’s fingers grazed my palm. I used my thumb to trap his hand, and he curled his fingers around mine. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I said.
