I tried calling Sohrab again—no answer—and then wrote him an email.
We called Dad, and I talked to him for a while.
“I’m so sorry,” he kept saying, like it was his fault Babou was gone. “I’ll be home soon. It’ll be okay. I love you.”
That evening, Oma made grilled cheese and tomato soup.
Linda Kellner’s solution to all of life’s problems was grilled cheese and tomato soup.
It’s not like either the sandwiches or the soup were particularly good. Oma used regular American cheese slices and white bread for the sandwiches. And the soup came from a can, made with water instead of milk since, according to Oma, milk gave Grandma gas.
But I thought maybe cooking for us was Oma’s way of showing she loved us, since she almost never said it out loud.
“Can I help any?” Landon asked.
He’d come over after school, with a little bouquet of flowers for Mom and a card for me.
“I’m fine,” Oma said. “You relax.”
Landon shifted in his seat.
I think the sight of Oma cooking with American cheese was deeply disturbing to him.
“Why don’t you make some tea?” Oma suggested.
“Okay.”
So Landon put the kettle on while I pulled down some Second Flush Darjeeling Mr. Edwards had us sample a couple weeks ago. It was maltier than the first flush from the same estate, and brisker, but it was still pretty good.
While the tea steeped, Oma cut the sandwiches into quarters diagonally—the only acceptable way to cut grilled cheese sandwiches—and started ladling soup into bowls. Landon set the table and I went to get Laleh from her room.
“Laleh?”
She was curled up against her pillow, a new book open on her lap.
“What’re you reading?”
Laleh held up the book so I could read the cover:The Fifth Season.
“Is it good?”
“Better thanDune,” she said.
“Cool. You want some dinner?”
We ate in silence, all of us dunking our sandwich triangles in the velvety processed soup product.
It actually did make me feel a little better.
After, as Landon was getting ready to leave, he said, “Are you going to be okay?”
“Yeah,” I said.
And then I said, “It’s not like it came as a surprise.”
And then I said, “Is it awful that I’m kind of glad it’s over?”
I felt terrible as soon as I said it.
