I blinked and blinked because I didn’t want Babou to witness my stress hormones build up to a containment breach.
“Why are you crying, baba?”
“I’m not.”
“You know, in Iran, boys don’t worry about these things so much.”
“Okay.”
“You can’t let these things bother you.”
I sniffed. “I’m gonna take a shower.”
I hadn’t really finished back at the soccer field. I was still covered in grass and I hadn’t actually washed my hair.
Being humiliated was very distracting.
“Okay. Don’t worry, Darioush. Everything will be fine.”
It was easy for Ardeshir Bahrami to say that.
He didn’t know what it was like to be a target.
In the privacy of my shower, I scrubbed off the last bits of green and washed my hair. I stayed in there as long as I could. I didn’t want anyone to hear me sniffling.
When the water started to cool off, I decided I was done. I wrapped myself in one of Mamou’s towels. It felt much warmer and softer than Sohrab’s scratchy one.
I sniffled, turned on the Dancing Fan, and hid in my bed.
I didn’t actually sleep. I couldn’t. Sohrab’s laughter keptdancing around in my skull. And the way he had said “Ayatollah Darioush.”
I was so sure Sohrab was like me. That he knew what it was like to be different.
I was convinced we were destined to be friends.
But Sohrab Rezaei was just another Soulless Minion of Orthodoxy.
Someone knocked on my door.
I was on my side, studying the tiny imperfections in the lemon rind texture of the wall. “Uh. Yeah?”
After a second, the door creaked open. “Darioush?” Mamou asked. “Do you want a snack? Something to drink?”
I glanced over my shoulder. “No thanks. I’m not hungry.”
“You sure? We have tea. And cookies.”
“I’m sure.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m just tired,” I said. “We played a long time.”
Mamou slipped into my room and maneuvered around the Dancing Fan. I gripped my covers a little tighter, because I hadn’t actually gotten dressed after my shower. Mamou leaned over me and kissed me on the forehead. She played with my hair, which had air dried into a curly mess. “Okay, maman. Get some rest.”
I didn’t, though. A few minutes later Dad came to check on me too.
“Darius?”
