Hills rolling away forever, green and ancient and indifferent. The wind tugs at the grass, at my hair—almost gentle, almost kind. For a heartbeat I pretend it’s Joshua’s fingers, but the wind doesn’t linger. It just keeps moving, leaving me colder than before.
I feel:
Like a ghost. Like something scorched and hollowed out.
I miss him so much I ache all over.
And underneath it all, a bone-deep shame—because I know I don’t deserve to miss him this much, not after everything I put him through. But I do. God help me, I do.
Day Two – Galway → Kinvara
Distance: 19 miles
Route Notes:Passes through Clarinbridge; ends at Kinvara with views of Dunguaire Castle.
Location Reflection–Kinvara:
I sat a long time in Kinvara, watching the boats drift in. Across the water, Dunguaire Castle stood silent against the fading light, as if it were waiting for something. Me, maybe? God, what an ego! I could hear David’s voice in my head, teasing me for it. The air smelled faintly of turf smoke—soft and familiar, like the earth breathing out the day.
Journal:
Stopped in Clarinbridge at the Poppy Seed Cafe for tea.
Older couple running it. They didn’t ask why I looked like hell.
She gave me scones.
He told me a story about a fox stealing eggs.
I laughed.
Strange. The sound didn’t even feel like mine. More like someone I used to be.
Outside, shirts and towels flapped on a line behind the café, bright flags of ordinary life.
I mailed him a postcard today. Just a photo of a thatched roof.
I didn’t write a word. The silence between us feels heavier than any loneliness I’ve ever known.
I remember:
Flames, reflected in Joshua’s eyes.
Only a split second—but it became my whole world.
I see:
A boy and his grandfather mending a stone wall. Their rhythm, their quiet understanding…
It reminded me of Kathy. Of our childhood.
Watching Dad fix a broken door.
I sat on the road and wept.
I feel:
Sadness, heaped and piled on top of sadness.
