The following morning, David stood in the kitchen, staring at a mug that had gone cold for the second time. He poured it out and started the coffee maker again, not quite sure why he bothered.
In the living room, Nate crept around, straightening cushions that didn’t need straightening, collecting empty glasses, then setting them down again. His eyes flicked constantly to Colin and Joshua’s faces. They held their coffee mugs like fragile promises—something to hold onto, to ground them in this tenuous reality.
Joshua sat hunched at the far end of the couch, wrapped in a borrowed hoodie, his coffee mug the only thing visible as the sleeves nearly swallowed his hands. His eyes tracked every movement, but his gaze was distant. He struggled to connect with anyone or anything. He had become a spectator in his own life.
Colin sat nearby, staring down at his gauze-covered hands. The bandage covering his head wound was stained at the edge. The skin under his eyes was shadowed. He’d been dropped into a world that made no sense, and he could see no way out.
The doorbell rang, abrupt and too loud in the fragile morning stillness, and they all flinched. David moved to answer, but Colin stood and walked to the door, movements hesitant, like someone running on raw nerves. He opened the door to Esther and Norm, both dressed for court, the chill autumn air swirling behind them.
Esther stepped forward at once and bent to wrap Joshua in a gentle, careful hug. He didn’t resist; didn’t move at all. She pressed a hand to the back of his head and held him for a moment, then let go and turned back to Colin. For a moment, they stood in silence, staring into each other’s eyes, then she moved to embrace him.
“Well. Guess who called me first thing this morning?” she asked, leaning back.
“Esther, I haven’t got a fucking clue,” Colin husked out.
“Elias Moreno himself,” Esther told him, sinking onto a chair offered by Nate.
Colin blinked. “Really! That’s damned odd.”
Norm settled into a chair, hands folded, gaze steady on Colin—silent backup, the way he’d done a hundred times in courtrooms and crisis rooms.
“It shows you how seriously he’s taking this,” Esther said.
Joshua made a low sound in his throat, almost a laugh. “What the fuck did he want?”
“He wanted a lot of things, Joshua. First, to apologize for what happened. He wanted to call you himself, but I told him that wasn’t possible.”
“Good,” Colin muttered. “It may surprise him to learn I’m not taking his calls.”
Esther’s smile was thin. “He assumed as much. I brought up Lexi not getting his transfer, and before I could finish, Elias just about blew my ear off: ‘Fuck Lexi! Do what you want with him. He brought this whole thing down on us.’ Didn’t even hesitate.”
“Why is hedoingthis?” Joshua asked in a voice like sandpaper.
Esther shook her head. “He says he didn’t order the attack, and for the most part, I believe him. It was someone lower down. Maybe looking to impress a boss, or more likely, on Lexi’s direct orders. I told him I wanted whoever did this brought in and arrested. He said, ‘I’m sorry, Ms. Jackson, I can’t help you.’ Which means the trail ends there, at least for now.”
Silence hung for a moment—broken only by the tick of the kitchen clock and Nate’s quiet, anxious breathing.
Esther folded her hands. “But that’s not why I’m here. I know you want answers. You want to start rebuilding your life. What Icangive you today is a start. But only a start. And only if you’re ready.”
Colin stared at her, forcing his mind to catch up.
Norm spoke quietly, “We’ve made arrangements for Shannon Nash to meet you at the house. You can’t go in on your own. It has to be under escort and only into cleared areas. But we figured going in with Shannon would make it abiteasier on you.”
“I know it’s not fair,” Esther told him. “But you know the rules as well as I do, Colin. This is a homicide investigation. For now, it’s only what you can carry. Things you need immediately—clothes, medicine, wallets, glasses. Nothing electronic. Nothing that could be considered evidence. Nash will log every item.”
Colin’s jaw worked, eyes on the floor. For a moment, it looked like he might push back, but then his shoulders slumped and he gave a weary nod.
Esther’s face softened. “We’ll get you in and out fast. If you want to wait, you can, but it may be days before the rest is released. Possibly weeks. We can bring you back again, ifneeded.” She drew in a long breath.. “Shannon’s waiting for my call. He’ll meet us there.”
Colin moved to the couch and sat down close to Joshua, setting his coffee mug aside. For a moment, he just sat searching for words. When he finally spoke, his voice was careful—low, meant for Joshua alone.
“Do you want to come? To the house? You don’t have to, baby. I’ll get whatever you want. Or try to.”
Joshua’s hands tightened around his coffee mug. He stared at the floor, silent for a long time. Then, without looking up, he murmured, “I’m going with you.”
“Josh, you don’t have to?—”
“Oh, yes, I do,” Joshua interrupted, voice hoarse but determined. “You’re not going in there alone, Colin. Not without me.” He placed the mug on the coffee table with trembling hands and reached to touch his husband’s cheek. His face was pale, his eyes red-rimmed, but the inflexible set of his mouth left no room for doubt. “We do this together.”
