“And he said he’d think about it.” Colin grimaced and shrugged. “I amnotoptimistic.” He glanced up at Joshua, expecting to see his usual determined focus. Instead, he stood quietly, his hand resting on a Camp Pride flag. His gaze was distant, lost in thought, as his fingers traced the shape of the rainbow.
Colin straightened, watching him for a moment before stepping closer. “Hey. You OK?”
Joshua blinked as if realizing where he was. He exhaled and nodded. “Yeah. What you said about Jeff reminded me …” His voice trailed off.
Colin laid a hand on Joshua’s arm, his voice low and steady. “Ofwhat?”
Joshua hesitated, then grimaced. “It’s stupid.”
“Doubt it. But tell me anyway.”
He blew out a breath and stared at the floor, his jaw tight. “I spoke with Project Hope last week. Remember our conversation about including LGBTQ+ kids who are homeless?” He hesitated, then went on, his voice low. “This afternoon, I met one of the kids they’re suggesting as a candidate. He’s in foster care, still recovering from the abuse inflicted by his parents.” He looked up at his husband, his expression dark. “His father thought he couldbeatthe gay out of him.”
Colin’s fingers gripped Joshua’s arm as he nodded, absorbing every word, his silence more eloquent than speech.
Joshua glanced down at the numerous pride-related items scattered across their bed, their rainbow colors evoking a vibrant abstract painting. “He was scared, Colin. Even of me. He barely spoke, hunched over like he was trying to disappear. And looking at him…”—Joshua’s voice trembled—“it was like looking into a mirror.”
Colin’s fingers slid up and down Joshua’s arm. “I know talking with you helped him.”
Joshua’s head gave a brief, taut shake. “I don’t know. Maybe.” He dragged his hands through his hair. “I’m going to talk to him again next week. He and another prospective candidate.” He gazed up at Colin, his lips parted slightly as if searching for words he couldn’t find. Then he sighed and turned away. “He agreed to come to Camp Pride. He was scared, but he said he’d try.”
Colin’s jaw clenched. “Christ, I’m sorry, baby. I’m sorry you went through that. I know it had to hurt.”
Joshua exhaled again, staring at the supplies around them. “I’m sorry he went through whathedid. I shouldn’t be thinking aboutmyfeelings right now. My god, Colin. Every kid deserves a place where they don’t have to be afraid. A place where they don’t have to hide to feel safe.”
Colin let the silence rest for a beat. Then he turned Joshua toward him, pressing their foreheads together. “You’re creating that place for them, Josh.”
“I just hope it’s enough.”
“Itisenough,” Colin said, the certainty in his voice unwavering. He cupped Joshua’s face, forcing him to meet his gaze. “And get this straight:Yourpain isn’t a distraction from his—it’s the reason you understand him. The reason youcanhelp him. You went through hell, and it stilllivesin you. That doesn’t make you selfish—it makes youhuman.”
Joshua let out a breath and leaned into him. “Thank you, myyedid.”
Colin smiled, his voice growing softer. “Now. How about you let me steal you away from all this for a bit? You promised me some Colin-and-Josh time, and I’m holding you to it.” He kissed Joshua’s forehead. “Let me take you to Moo Thru. I’ll buy you that brownie sundae with extra chocolate syrup that you love so much. Perk you right up.”
“Don’t you have forensic evidence to wade through?”
“It’ll keep,” Colin said again, this time with a smile. “Right now, you’re more important.”
“Tempting me with Moo Thru!” Joshua muttered, shaking his head in fake dismay. “Blatantly unfair tactics, counselor. But … all right. You win.”
Colin tipped his chin up and grinned. “I alwaysdo. And listen, before I forget, I’m going to hold a mandatory drugeducation session on the first day of camp, so factor it into your Day One schedule. Not a scare session. Just facts. What’s out there. What it can do. Fentanyl’s in everything now, Josh—even pills they think are safe. These kids need to know what they’re up against.”
Joshua looked at him, heart full. “You’re not doing this as a cop.”
“No. I’m doing it as someone who doesn’t want to watch a kid die like that…again.”
Later that evening,Joshua carried a mug of fragrant Irish tea up the stairs to Colin’s study. He stood in the doorway for a moment, staring at his husband’s broad back as he hunched over the desk, unaware that his stance echoed Colin’s observation ofhimfrom earlier that day. He heard Colin give a soft moan and saw him twist as if trying to ease an aching back.
“Brought you some tea. Maybe take a break and drink it?” he suggested as he set the mug on Colin’s desk and lowered himself into a nearby chair.
Colin nodded as he lifted the mug and sipped. “Thanks, babe. I’m nearly done … at least for tonight.” He tilted his head, his eyes fixed on Joshua’s. “How’reyoudoing?”
Joshua shrugged. “I’m OK.” He reached to finger a stack of manila folders. “Looks like you still have a lot to do.”
“Nah. I’ve already sorted all those out.”
Joshua nodded but said nothing, still fingering the folders, and Colin’s eyes narrowed. “You seem … a bit down.”
