Colin bowed his head, his lower lip sucked between his teeth. “A bit.”
Joshua laid a hand on his arm. “Can I tell you something?”
“Of course.”
“Seeing you this sad shatters my heart.”
“Feeling this kind of distance between us shattersmine.”
Joshua rose to his knees. He wound both arms around Colin’s neck and was quickly embraced. “I love you,” he whispered, his voice thick with tears. “And I’m so sorry. I don’t mean to seem distant. I’m still a bit shaken.”
“And I loveyou,” Colin replied. “With my whole heart and soul, I love you, Joshua.” He held Joshua’s body tight against his own. “You were right today,” he murmured. “I should have let the Garda handle it.”
Joshua leaned away from their embrace and cradled Colin’s face between his palms. “Truth to tell, Iwasn’tright. What Iwas,was scared. Maybe the Garda could have handled it. But that guy was already pulling the trigger, and they weren’tthere. Youwere!”
Colin drew Joshua back into his arms, and for several minutes, neither of them spoke. Eyes closed, they held each other close, lost in their healing embrace.
“Well,thisis a huge improvement!” David commented from above them. “Do Nate and I need to disappear for a half hour or so?”
Colin gave a soft chuckle. “No, you do not.” He pulled on David’s pant leg. “Sit down for a few minutes, enjoy the view, and then we’ll circle the park.”
David and Nate sat beside them and listened to Colin’s story of how, as a youngster, he would ride his bike to this spot to spend hours reading and gazing across the valley, taking in the breathtaking beauty below him. “This was the first place I wanted Josh to see on our honeymoon. It’s special to me.” He turned and kissed his husband. “Now it’s special tous.”
“My god, it’s good to see you two acting like yourselves again,” Nate told him, leaning against his arm.
“Yeah. Feels good to me, too,” Colin said. Joshua had settled between his legs with Colin’s arms tight around him. He nuzzled against Joshua’s neck. “Feel good to you, too, bud?”
Joshua chuckled and leaned back against his husband’s sturdy body. “Everything you do feels good to me.”
Colin’s arms tightened around him, and he drew in a shuddering breath, nuzzling against Joshua’s hair. The ringing in his ears had intensified, and another wave of dizziness nearly took his breath. He felt Nate’s hand on his arm and turned to see his friend’s frowning face. “Colin? Are you…” Nate began, but Colin’s brows narrowed, and he shook his head, cutting off Nate’s question before Joshua could hear.
They stayed in Colin’s peaceful sanctuary for nearly an hour, then he drove them partway around the Ring of Kerry, headed for Torc Waterfall. The two couples walked to the waterfall’s base and perched on the damp ground, staring up at the impressive sight. The tall waterfall cascaded down a series of boulders, which directed its curving course, turning the water into liquid satin as it flowed over the huge rocks.
“God, Colin,” Joshua whispered, leaning against his shoulder. “This is the most beautiful waterfall I’ve ever seen.”
Colin nodded but gave no other reply. He tightened his arm and tugged Joshua closer. The relentless ringing in his ears had triggered a grinding headache and a queasy stomach, both of which had grown steadily worse since they left the park. “Dammit,” he breathed out, then exhaled a long breath and tried to force himself to relax.
Joshua shot him a look, then laid a hand on his arm. “You OK?”
“Headache,” Colin muttered, then sighed again. “Ears still ringing, so I can’t hear all that well. Just feeling a bit…” He met Joshua’s eyes, then turned away and shook himself, struggling to hide his distress. “I dunno…iffy.”
Joshua studied him for a moment. Colin’s face was pale, and as Joshua watched, he lowered his head and pressed his forehead to Joshua’s shoulder. “My god,” Joshua breathed out. “I’m a fucking jackass!”
Colin reared back, a puzzled look on his face. “Why the hell would you say such a thing? You’renota jackass!”
Joshua cradled Colin’s face between his palms. “Never even occurred to me that what you went through today might have an adverse effect on you.”
Colin scoffed out a breathy laugh, then glanced at Joshua and shrugged.
Joshua carded his fingers through Colin’s hair. “I didn’t even ask if you were OK.” He touched Colin’s cheek. “Why didn’t you tell me you felt ill?”
“I wanted you to see the waterfall.”
“Let’s head back to Aileen’s,” Joshua said, getting to his feet. “Time for this day to end.”
“Can’t say I disagree.” He held out the keys to David. “Maybe you’d better drive. This goddamn ringing in my ears is making me dizzy.”
* * *
