Joshua nodded, tossed his suitcase next to Colin’s, and then trailed him up the stairs and into their bedroom, where they both began to strip off their clothes.
“That damned Bailey’s was good,” Colin told him. Dressed only in his briefs, he stood beside the chest of drawers, holding his blue jeans in one hand while he rifled through the pockets with the other. “Forgot how much I like that stuff.” He dumped a handful of change into a bowl, tossed the jeans toward the hamper, and turned to face Joshua. “We need to buy a bottle next time we’re out.”
Joshua bent to collect the jeans, then moved to Colin’s side and shook them in his face. “Youmissed,” he told his husband, then kissed his cheek before tossing them into the hamper.
“I figured the elves would put them into the hamper while we slept,” Colin told him, grinning. “They always do.”
Joshua leaned closer and pressed his forehead against Colin’s chest. “Listen…”
“Josh? What’s—”
“I need to tell you something.”
“So tell.”
“I overheard your conversation with Nate.”
“Lastnight?”
Joshua nodded and lifted his head just in time to see Colin’s mouth twist in a comical smirk. “So?” he said, then shrugged and snickered. “Who cares? Glad you know. Now I don’t have to figure out how to tell you.”
“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop; I just...”
“Josh, I’m glad you know. I’m working on it with Deena. I beat back this PTSD fear once; I can do it again. It’s not as intense this time. I can handle it.”
“It’s not fear, baby,” Joshua told him, watching Colin climb into bed. “Fear’s agoodthing! It’s a healthy emotion that warns us of real danger. Keeps us from walking in front of buses.” He climbed into bed beside Colin and pressed himself against his side.
“Sure feels like fear,” Colin muttered.
“It’s anxiety,” Joshua said. “And I know it’s anxiety because….” He held Colin close and whispered the words directly into his ear. “... thereis no danger.”
Colin turned to face him, and they lay in silence for a moment, staring into each other’s eyes. “You guarantee that, do you.”
“Flat out.”
“Humph,” Colin huffed. He trailed his fingertips up and down Joshua’s bare back. “I had no idea you could foretell the future. So, are you making money on the side and holding out on me?”
Joshua snorted out a laugh. “Yeah. Saving for a trip to Jamaica.” He lifted his hand and laid it against his husband’s cheek. “Please believe me, baby. Thereisno danger.”
“In other words, have faith,” Colin muttered, then turned his head and kissed Joshua’s palm.
“Exactly.”
Colin’s lips remained against Joshua’s palm. He drew in a long, slow breath and nodded.
“Have faith inme,” Joshua implored.
“I do.”
“Then believe that I’d never do anything to hurt you. And believe that I know how much it would hurt you if anything bad happened to me.”
“Wow,” Colin said, leaning back to look at him. “How convoluted isthat!”
“It’s not convoluted at all.” He wrapped both arms around Colin’s broad shoulders and drew him close in his arms. “My gramps used to quote Proverbs to me. When I’d have nightmares, he’d say: ‘Put your faith in me, Joshua. I will protect you.’”
“That’sin Proverbs?” Colin asked, chuckling.
“No, butthisis. He also said: ‘Leannoton your own understanding.’”
