* * *
Joshua dashedinto the living room the moment he heard the door open. “Hi, sweetie,” he said, reaching to take Colin’s jacket. “Have a good day?” And before Colin could answer, he blurted: “I’ve got something to ask you!”
Colin breathed out a quick laugh and accepted Joshua’s kiss. “Well, hurry up and ask me before you burst.”
Joshua took his hand and led him to the couch, then pressed on his shoulder until he sat. “David called me today and wants us to go with him to New York. He said Nate’s unhappy and missing us and thought it would be good for him. David even offered to pay for our hotel room.”
Colin looked at him, his lips pressed tightly together, then sighed. “I can’t, Josh. Much as I’d love to… much as I’d like to be there for Nate. I can’t.” He opened his briefcase and withdrew a manilla folder.
As Joshua sank onto the couch, holding Colin’s jacket in his arms, he pointed to the folder clutched tight in his husband’s hand. “Because of that?”
“It’s a murder case,” Colin told him, tossing the folder to the coffee table. “Or at least that’s how it looks at this point. My first. Norm gave it to me today. The task force is gathering information, and I’m meeting with them on Monday. I need to take this weekend to review all the pertinent information.”
Joshua nodded. “I understand, and you’re right, of course. This takes precedence.”
Colin touched his cheek. “I’m sorry, babe. I feel bad about Nate. I’ll call him and explain it to him. Let him know we’ll come to see him as soon as this is off my plate.”
Joshua glanced at the folder, his brows furrowed. “What kind of—I mean—can you tell me about the case?”
Colin’s mouth tightened, and he gave a half-shrug. “I can tell you what little I know. A man called René Founier was found dead beside his car with his skull bashed in. Possibly robbery.” He glanced at Joshua and shuddered. “I don’t know enough yet to have formed any opinions.”
For a moment, Joshua was silent, and then he reached to take Colin’s hand. “Something about this case is already troubling you. I can see it. I can damn nearfeelit.”
Colin shot him a sideways look and drew in a long breath. He had been leaning forward, hunched over his knees, but now he leaned back, tilting his head as he did so until he was gazing at the oaken beams that ran the length of the ceiling. “I met the man’s wife today.” There was a long silence. “Norm and I, we…” He drew in a breath, hesitating. “We interviewed her.” His fingers tightened over Joshua’s.
“That had to have been hard.”
“D’you know what she said to me?” Colin asked him, never once turning his eyes from the oaken beams. “She looked me right in the eyes, and in this slow, fractured, fuckingheartbrokenvoice, she said: ‘He was my sweetheart’.”His head swiveled, and his eyes met Joshua’s. “Jesus, Josh.”
“Honey…”
“It tore theheartoutof me.”
“I know… I know it had to…”
“Josh, I can’t—I justcan’t—let my emotions get so wrapped up in her pain that I do a shit job!”
Joshua stood for a moment, then knelt on the floor at Colin’s feet and grasped both his wrists. “Listen to me,” he implored. “You just got your very first murder case. And today, you talked with that poor, heartbroken lady who just lost her sweetheart. So, for god’s sake, honey, give yourself some time to come to terms with it before you start beating yourself up!”
Colin chewed on his lower lip as he met Joshua’s eyes. “You think?”
Joshua eyed him for a moment, then touched his cheek. “You mentally put yourself right into her shoes, didn’t you.”
“That doesn’t sound like a question.”
“It’s not.”
Colin’s sigh was a rough rasp in his throat. He glanced at Joshua and nodded. “Yeah,” he admitted, his voice clipped. “But I’ll get past it.”
Joshua cradled his husband’s face between his palms. “What you went through today was a wounding experience. Give yourself a minute to heal.”
“I’m an attorney, Josh,” Colin blurted out. “A prosecutor! I should be able to handle stuff like this!”
“Should?” Joshua questioned, eyebrows raised. “You talk to Norm on Monday,” he insisted. “You tell him what you just told me. I’d bet anythinghe’ll tell you that you’re….” He hesitated, then continued. “That you’re… mistaken.”
“You mean that I’m full of shit.”
Joshua breathed out a laugh and gave a slight shrug.
