“When you turn into a pumpkin?”
“When I turn into what I already am: a tired husband.”
Joshua shrugged and once again tilted the bottle to his lips, his eyes fixed on the ceiling.
Colin glanced at him, then drew in a breath, staring at his husband.
Joshua had gone to David’s house directly from work, and the suit jacket he had worn all day hung, loose and rumpled, around his lean, muscular physique. His white dress shirt draped outside his trousers, the three top buttons undone. His tie had vanished. He drew another long breath and, as Colin watched, he scooted lower and crossed his ankles on the coffee table, both hands clasping his beer bottle.
“Looking pretty sloppy there, Dr. Abrams,” Colin murmured, thinking that Joshua’s bored embrace of his disheveled appearance was the hottest thing he had ever seen.
“That so,” Joshua muttered, then tilted the bottle to his lips again.
Colin sat his beer on the table and half-turned on the couch to bend over his husband. “You’re not pissed at me, are you?”
Joshua tilted his head. He quirked an eyebrow and peered up at Colin through half-lowered lids. “Whome?” His full, wide mouth curved in a smile so delectable, so filled with love that Colin’s breath caught in his throat.
“Mygod, I love you,” Colin whispered, his voice a moan in the semi-darkened room.
Joshua lifted one hand and slid his fingertips across Colin’s cheek and around his ear, the cool dampness from his beer bottle sending shivers over Colin’s body. “And I love you, my beautiful Irish lad. And, no. Of course I’m not mad at you.”
“Wewilltalk about it,” Colin whispered, bending closer, one hand sliding around Joshua’s waist.
“I know.”
“Just… not now.” He took the bottle from Joshua’s hand and set it on the coffee table, then slid off the couch and knelt on the floor at Joshua’s feet. He leaned forward and tightened his arms around his husband’s body, resting his head on Joshua’s chest. “Not now,” he whispered again, his mouth against Joshua’s throat.
“I understand, my darling,” Joshua murmured. His arms enclosed Colin’s shoulders, pulling him tight against his body as he buried his face in the thick waves of Colin’s sandy hair. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Joshua told him. “I know what you’re feeling.”
Colin nodded and nestled closer in Joshua’s arms, thinking as he did that all the people who knew him only as the hard-nosed, fiercely independent Irish cop would probably not recognize him in this moment. His need for Joshua’s love remained a raw and hungry place inside himself, even after their four years together. He inhaled deeply, hearing his breath catch in his chest, needing the scent of Joshua’s skin to steady him, to remind him of Joshua’s nearness. To assure him that the one thing which bound his soul to this planet was still here. His anchor. His oak.
He felt Joshua pressing soft kisses to his hair and smiled.
“You want to go upstairs, Irish?”
Colin nodded and sighed out a long, deep breath. “I do,” he murmured, then released his husband and got to his feet. “I assume you do too?” He asked, holding out a hand to draw Joshua up beside him.
“I do indeed,” Joshua replied as he rose.
They stood beside the couch for a moment, staring at the floor, then Colin lifted his head. He tilted Joshua’s face up with one large hand, and their eyes locked. “Let’sgo, bud,” he said, his voice a low rumble in his throat.
Joshua sucked in a quick breath and dropped his eyes, feeling a warm flush rise on his cheeks. He glanced at Colin and saw his husband’s face crease with an easy, knowing smile. He stepped past Colin and moved up the stairs, shaking his head in self-annoyance when he heard Colin’s soft laughter.
“Don’t be so smug,” Joshua cautioned as he entered their bedroom one step ahead of Colin. “Or you could end up disappointed.”
Colin’s big hands fell onto Joshua’s shoulders and spun him around. “I doubt it,” he muttered, then jerked Joshua forward, kissing him with a heat so intense, a passion so fierce, that Joshua whimpered, swaying in Colin’s embrace. His hands clutched Joshua’s shoulders, slid into his hair, and his fingers gripped, tightening painfully as he crushed Joshua’s mouth against his own.
“Colin,” Joshua gasped. He tore his lips from Colin’s and stumbled backward, feeling Colin move with him. “Sweetie,wait…”
Colin didn’t hear him. The roaring rush filling his ears drowned out his husband’s words. He yanked Joshua’s jacket from his body and hurled it to the floor. Both hands grasped Joshua’s dress shirt, and in seconds buttons were spinning in all directions, and the shirt was lying in shreds on top of the jacket. His hands moved to Joshua’s belt buckle, but he looked up in startled surprise when both Joshua’s hands closed over his wrists and tightened.
“Stop!”
His voice was low but imbued with an authority Colin was not prepared to challenge. Joshua drew Colin’s hands away from his belt but did not back away from their embrace. Instead, he lifted his hands and cradled Colin’s face between his palms. They were cool against Colin’s fevered skin, and Colin’s breath caught as he turned his head to kiss Joshua’s palm.
“Look at me, my darling,” Joshua murmured, and when Colin’s eyes met his, he smiled. “I’m all for passionate lovemaking,” he whispered, sliding his thumbs across the upswept curve of Colin’s cheek. “I just want to be sure you’re in control of what’s happening here.”
Colin nodded, and after a moment, he felt Joshua grasp his hands and guide them back to his belt buckle. “Then by all means… carry on.”
