Joshua nodded. “I suspect he’s feeling the same thing that Colin’s feeling, but expanded by an order of magnitude.”
“Fuck,” Nate muttered. He bowed his head and stared at the tabletop for a long moment, then met Joshua’s eyes. “Maybe I should just cancel this whole damned thing. I haven’t signed anything yet. I could walk away.”
“Is that what you want to do, Nate?”
“Christ, Josh, I don’t know. I know I don’t want everyone I love to be upset.”
“Nate, that can’t be your yardstick for whether or not you go to New York. It just can’t! This has to be about whatyouwant! Howyoufeel! David and Colin will have to slide into their big-boy pants and deal with it. You’ve been given a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. And if you feel in your heart that you want to move on that opportunity, you have to do it.”
Nate nodded but did not speak.
“Do you want to look back at this moment in ten years and be kicking yourself all over the place because you could have had a play you wrote produced on Broadway but turned your back on it because David was squeamish about you two being separated for a few weeks?”
Nate lifted his head and met Joshua’s eyes.
“If you’re thinking about the good of your relationship, think about this. You could resent him for it long-term if you turn this down.” He laid his hand on top of Nate’s. “Do this or don’t do it. But make the decision based on whatyouwant. Not on what someone else fears.”
* * *
Colin stoodnext to David in the kitchen, one hand on his shoulder. “Did you talk to Nate about how you feel? About your concerns about this damned director? And does this fucking dude have a name?”
David shot him a sheepish glance. “Yeah. His name is Ross Tanner. And, well… no. Not really. I told him how I felt about him going to New York. And I did talk with Arthur today about taking some extended time off while Nate’s away so I can be with him. You’re right. I’ve got a ton of time coming to me.”
“But you didn’t tell Nate you were worried about this director.”
David winced but gave no response.
“Goddammit, David! He needs to know how you feel!”
“I’ll talk to him about it, Colin. I promise. Before he leaves tomorrow, I’ll force myself to reveal the depth of my teenage angst about his hot-as-fuck director.”
“It’s not teenage angst!” Colin insisted. “If Josh was going off to spend a couple of months getting all chummy with some Chris Hemsworth clone, you can be damned sure I’d be nervous, and you can be damned sure I’d say so!” He punched David’s shoulder gently. “Tell him how you feel.”
David nodded. “We’d better get back in there.”
* * *
When they reenteredthe dining room, both Joshua and Nate turned to look at them. “You guys, OK?” Joshua asked as Colin dropped into the chair next to him.
“Yeah, babe. I’m fine,” Colin muttered, then took a long breath and stared at the far wall.
David took his seat next to Nate and reached for his hand. He gave Nate a wan smile, then lowered his eyes to the tabletop.
Nate looked from one to the other, then released David’s hand. “Well, this is the most dismal goddamn dinner party I have ever attended! What the fuck is wrong with the two of you?”
David sighed, then frowned and shook his head. “I’m sorry, Nate,” he muttered finally.
Nate turned to Joshua. “Josh, you appear to be the only sane human at this table.” He waved his arm, gesturing toward David and Colin. “Talk to these two!”
Joshua didn’t say a word but turned and stared hard at Colin. “Well?” He challenged. “You going to answer him?”
Colin grimaced and shot Joshua a sidelong glance, clearly annoyed. Then he coughed out a rasping sigh and leaned toward Nate. “Look,” he said. “I’m glad you’re getting this chance, Natey-baby. I am. I’m excited for you. But I won’t pretend that you being gone for two months doesn’t…” He hesitated, then continued. “Doesn’t bother me,” he exclaimed. “Because it does.”
“But Colin, I—” Nate began, but Colin held up his hand to stop him.
“Stop. Let me finish. I’m also nervous you’ll be a huge success there and will stay in New York permanently.”
Nate stared at him for a moment, open-mouthed, and then he wheeled to David. “Is that what you think too?!”
