“Colin, you haven’t been a jackass. You’ve been worried. And given your history…” He let his voice trail off.
“Yes?” Colin said. “Given my history…”
“You don’t like it when people you love are too far away for you to protect.”
“Or control?” Colin added, throwing Joshua a quick wink.
“Well, now that you mention it…”
Colin huffed out a laugh. “Josh, I’m not an idiot. I know I’m worrying about something that will probably never happen.”
Joshua tilted his head, his brows arched. “Mostof the things we fret over will probably never happen. But worry is just…” He shrugged. “It’shuman. I understand your concerns, sweetie. I do.”
“Youalwaysunderstand,” Colin told him. “I don’t deserve you, Josh.”
“That’s just not true!” Joshua said, leaning away from him. “You always understand me too, or at least try to. We deserve eachother.”
“I hope so, baby. I feel like I’ve been a bit annoying lately.” He stared down at the sheets and huffed out a noisy breath. “I feel like ever since you were abducted, I’ve been an impossible son of a bitch to live with.”
“That’s not true either! What iswrongwith you today?”
Colin arched his eyebrows, his expression one of comic confusion. “No one knows.”
“Please stop being so hard on yourself. You havenotbeen an impossible son of a bitch to live with. Quite the contrary. I couldn’t have gotten through this without you.”
Colin quirked his mouth and huffed out a sigh. “Well, if I helped at all, I’m glad.”
“Youchoseme, remember?” Joshua said, cupping Colin’s cheek.
“I did,” Colin whispered. “Smartest move I ever made.”
“Well, I chose youtoo,” Joshua told him. “And I knew—even when I left you and ran home to Glencoe—I knew I couldneverlove anyone else.”
Colin smiled and turned his head to press Joshua’s fingers against his lips.
“It didn’t matter that you didn’t loveme,” Joshua said, his voice soft and dream-like. “It didn’t matter at all. I was bound to you, and I knew I always would be.” He pressed his lips to Colin’s, his fingers tightening in Colin’s hair.
“Didn’t matter that you were mad at me,” Joshua continued. “I thought you never wanted to see me again, and eventhatdidn’t matter.” His dark eyes met Colin’s, and they were brimming with tears. “I was yours. Even when you didn’t want me, I was yours. Even when I believed I was the only one who loved… I lovedyou.”
Colin pulled Joshua tight against his body, rocking him in his arms. “My darling boy, youweren’tthe only one who loved! Every minute we were apart was agonizing for me. I was afraid that if I let you love me, I’d somehow hurt you. Or worse… lose you.”
“You can’t lose what’s already yours.” He stroked Colin’s cheek. “When I fell in love with you, I gave you part of me that you couldn’t give back even if you wanted to. A part of me that’ll always be yours. My vision of who you are as a man. My faith in who you are as a person.” He shrugged, his thumb sliding along the rise of Colin’s cheekbone. “All that will stay even if I don’t.”
Colin drew in a quick breath; his face contorted in pain. “Don’ttalklike that!”
“Relax,” Joshua murmured, nestling against Colin’s chest. “To quote a famous Irishman, I’m not goinganywhere!”
* * *
A week later,David and Nate sat staring at each other across the dining room table. For a long time, there was silence, then David squirmed in his chair and grimaced. “Six to eight weeks, Nate?”
“Davy, I’m sorry! That’s how long it takes. I have to be there for script revision approvals, read-throughs, table-reads, blocking out the stage directions… they want me involved in all pre-production decisions.”
“So you’re going to take a sabbatical?”
“It’snota sabbatical, David,” Nate insisted. “Youknowthat Ruben got the UVA board to sponsor myplay.They’re invested inAutumn’s Pridenow, and they know they’ll get good press if it gains even a little success on Broadway. This is more of a business trip than a sabbatical. UVA is paying me for the consultant work.”
“Mm,” David grumbled, mouth twisted in a brooding frown.
