“I’d say that’s a foregone conclusion.” He leaned over Joshua on his elbows, their lips nearly touching. His head was bowed and his expression had slid from satisfied contentment into scowling sadness.
Joshua frowned and slid his fingers through the damp hair hanging over Colin’s forehead. “Honey, what is it? Is something wrong? Are you upset with me for something?”
Colin laugh was a soft breath against Joshua’s face. “Youwouldthink that!” he said, then bent and kissed him. “No. Nothing’s wrong. It’s just that since we found you in that dirty old church...” He stopped for a moment, thinking, then shook his head, his face filled with a kind of wonder. “No, evenbeforethen,” he said, his voice soft in the darkened room. “When I knew you were missing. When I was staring into the abyss thinking I’d never get you back.”
“Colin, don’t do this to yourself.”
Colin paused and lowered his head, then met Joshua’s eyes. “I was so scared that night, Josh. And I can’t seem to shake that fear. It haunts me. And that can’t be healthy.”
Joshua drew Colin’s head down onto his shoulder. “Look,” he murmured finally, “I’m not your shrink, and I hope you discuss this with Deena. But it doesn’t take two PhDs in psychology to understand why you’re feeling this way. The whole specter of losing someone you love is a huge trigger for you. This thing with me brought all those feelings back with a vengeance.”
He nuzzled his lips against Colin’s hair. “It’ll pass. And it’s perfectly natural. You talk aboutmeneeding to heal? Well, darling, don’t you get thatyouneed to heal too? That you were injuredtoo?I don’t think you feel any differently about me now than you did the day before I was kidnapped.”
“Surefeelslike I do.”
“Having to live through a life-threatening situation tends to intensify those feelingswaybeyond what’s normal or even healthy. But we don’tstayin that state of adrenaline-drenched angst! No one does. No one could! You’d die of heart failure. The high-anxiety moments end, thank god. And over time the way you feel returns to normal.”
“You mean I don’t need a prefrontal lobotomy?”
“I mean you’ll be back to finding me monumentally annoying in no time.”
“I’ve never found you annoying.” He quirked his brow as if considering. “Well,seldom!”
Joshua quivered in soft laughter. “Up, you. We need a shower.”
“Don’t wanna,” Colin muttered, snuggling against Joshua’s skin.
“C’mon, Irish,” Joshua said, nudging him. “I’ll wash your back.”
“I’d prefer it if you washed myfront,” Colin muttered, then sighed and heaved himself upright. “Ohhhhhh,damn…”
Joshua took Colin’s hand and pulled himself to his feet.
“Sobossy!” Colin complained, but stumbled into the bathroom behind Joshua.
Chapter 25
Doctor Abrams, Please Take The Stand
Two days later, Joshua walked alongside Colin into the Commonwealth’s Attorney’s office to meet with Norman Clayton. He was about to be prepped for his grand jury appearance, and the butterflies in his stomach had reached epic proportions. He and Colin paused for a moment at Sheila’s desk as she walked to Joshua’s side and touched his arm.
“I’m so glad you’re feeling better,” she told him. “We were all frantic while you were missing.”
Joshua smiled. “Thank you,” he told her, then reached in his pocket and handed her a protein bar. “Never let it be said that I didn’t come bearing gifts,” he said, repeating their long-standing joke.
Sheila laughed then pointed toward Norman Clayton’s office. “He’s waiting for you.”
Colin took Joshua’s arm and led him to the door. “Norm?” he said, sticking his head in the door as he nudged Joshua into the room. “Would you prefer that I wait in my office?”
Joshua drew in an alarmed breath, and wheeled to face his husband.
“It’ll be OK, baby,” Colin murmured. “I trust him.”
“No,” Clayton said, getting to his feet and walking toward them. “I’d rather you’d stay. I already told Esther that it’s foolish to try to keep you segregated from this case. I can’t have you as my second chair, you know that. But I’m happy for you to be involved on any other level, especially as a support for Josh.”
He moved to where Joshua stood. “Josh, good to see you. I’m glad you’re feeling well enough to do this.”
“I’ve had a fantastic nurse,” Joshua said with a smile as Clayton ushered them into chairs.
