“I’m gay, Lukas. Gay and married.”
“Who is he? What’s he do?”
Joshua opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t. His throat closed up with an almost unbearable ache and he felt his battered eyes sting with sudden tears. “I…” he stammered, then paused. “He…” Joshua began again, then stopped again. He simply couldn’t do it. He couldn’t sit here in a dark, abandoned building with his kidnapper next to him holding a rifle to his head and share the most precious, sacred part of his life.If it costs me my life, then it does,Joshua thought.I won’t talk to him about Colin.“I can’t talk about him,” he told Page. “Sorry.”
“Why not?”
“Are there parts of your life that are hard for you to discuss with strangers, Lukas?” Joshua asked, and for the first time an edge crept into his voice.
For a moment Page was silent. “Some. Yeah.”
“Well, that’s how I feel about this.”
He saw Page’s eyes narrow. Saw his jaw clench. He didn’t like being told ‘no’. It put someone else in control. He needed to re-engage quickly. “Lukas, may I ask why you’re doing this? You seem like an intelligent guy. Clearly you have skills. Why risk prison with these abductions?”
“Because you deserve it! I hate all of you,” Page growled out, averting his eyes.
“All of...”
“All of you! Youuniversitypeople!”
“You think I’m with the university?”
“Aren’t you a student there?”
“No,” Joshua told him. “I was there to drop off a jacket for a friend. I’m not a student.”
“Too bad,” Page said. “Wrong place, wrong time.”
“But why abduct students?” Joshua asked. “You must have a story, Lukas. I’d like to hear your side of things.”
For a moment Page stared at him, then seemed to relax. “Drugs fucked me up,” he muttered. “I tried rehab but couldn’t make it work.”
Joshua nodded. “It’s not for everyone.”
“Right? I tried to tell them! But they kept sending me back there like it was going to workthistime! My sister kept throwing me out! Wouldn’t give me money. So, I had to steal to get it, and I’d end up back in jail or rehab. They have no problem getting drugs! They’ve got tons of money! So I made them share some of it!”
“The students? They have money?” He nodded, leaning toward Page as though he was enthralled by his story and encouraging him to expand on it.
“You know they do! Fucking rich college kids!” He sneered in Joshua’s direction. “So, I took their money,” Page said, his face twisted in an ugly sneer. “But that’s not all I take!” He leaned toward Joshua as if sharing a treasured confidence. “I fucked all three of them! I fucked themhard!I took away their humanity!”
Joshua sucked in a quick breath and gave an involuntary shudder. “Did you know the students you abducted?” He asked. “Had they treated you badly?”
“Hell, no, I didn’t know them! I knew the girls worked out of the theater and the guy hung out there too. But that doesn’t matter anyway! They’re all the same. Smug, self-righteous punks! But they’re not so self-righteous afterIget through with them. When I’m done with them they know what it means to be humiliated! They’re smart-ass pricks who need to understand fear! I did them a favor. I helped them understand it.” Page threw back his head and laughed. “You should have heard them begging for mercy. Even the guy! He begged more than the two girls! What a pussy!”
“You took them down a peg for sure,” Joshua choked out. He hated this conversation. But people like Lukas Page were desperate to be heard. Even though every word they said was pure invention, they were still desperate to be heard. To have someone—anyone —listen to their side of things. If Page could feel a sense of empathy toward Joshua, it might save his life. It might get him home again.
Home,he thought, feeling his chest tighten with pain and longing.Oh god...home!In his mind, he could see the house on the Rivanna River. The welcoming porch where they’d sat so often in the glider, watching the sunset. Laughing. Drinking a beer. Talking about their day with Colin’s arm tight around him.
I’ll never see it again,he thought. Overwhelmed with sadness he lowered his head, his breath hitching in his chest, his eyes burning with tears. He heard Page stir, and Joshua pulled himself together with a jerk, tightening his muscles. He glanced up, suddenly aware that his abductor had stopped talking.
Page was staring at him, his face frozen in an expression of pure malice. Pure cunning. “What doyoudo?” he asked, his voice thin and accusatory. He leaned toward Joshua, his eyes narrow. “Where do you work if you’re not a student? You were driving a pretty fancy car.”
Joshua realized instantly that allowing his emotions to show through had been a huge mistake. It robbed Page of control. It showed him that Joshua had things he cared about outside of this dark, filthy room…people he cared about, people he loved and who loved him in return. Something Page didn’t have, and in his mind hadneverhad. Joshua shrugged, trying to brush off his emotional reaction. “It’s just a Honda. Not all that fancy.”
“WHAT DO YOU DO!” Page roared. He sprang forward, hovering over Joshua. “You’ve been bullshitting me! Pretending to give a shit when all the while—”
“No!” Joshua cried, lifting his left hand to protect himself. “No, Lukas! I do care! I’m a doctor. It’s my job to care about people.”
