“Right. Silly me.” He shook his head in disgust. “But they’ll be quick enough to whine when the son or daughter of one of their rich alumni gets grabbed by this guy.”
Colin shrugged. “It’s bound to happen. Whoever this guy is, he isn’t getting any calmer as time rolls by. He’s a time bomb ready to explode—getting angrier with every breath he takes. If Page is our man, I’m even a little worried about his sister. She could easily be next on his list.” He gathered up the information provided by the two law enforcement officers. “I’ll pull this all together into a report and send copies to everyone.”
“When should we meet again?” Shannon asked.
“Next week, if not before,” Colin told him, getting to his feet. “But let me know if anything new comes up, especially on prints from those stolen cars.”
“We will,” Donald replied, as he turned to leave the room.
Colin watched as the two police officers moved toward the exit, then he sighed and returned to his own office. He stacked his case files on the bookcase and began to compile the new information Donald and Shannon had provided into one concise report. Reading over Lukas Page’s life story filled him with frustration. “We’re not going to help this guy,” he muttered. “We’re going to end up putting him behind bars...probably for life. If not for this, for something else. It’s inevitable.”
This could have been Josh, he thought, remembering that Joshua’s early years had been marred by constant abuse from an alcoholic father. “But he chose a different path,” Colin whispered, glancing to his left to the picture of his husband. “He chose to help people who had suffered as he did.”
As if hearing his thoughts, Colin’s phone sounded with a message from Josh. The text read:Going to be late getting home, baby. Sorry. A patient walked in, and I have to see them. It’s not Alensworth. Be home right after the patient leaves. I love you.
Colin’s scowl deepened, but he sent a loving reply, assuring Joshua that he understood and that he’d take them out to dinner after Joshua got home. He sometimes felt a stab of jealousy over Joshua’s devotion to his patients, but he wrote off such feelings as petty and unworthy. He admired Joshua’s unfailing support to the patients under his care even when it meant late hours and time not spent at home with him. And he didn’t have to reach far back in their past to recall times when his own obsessive desire to achieve his goals had left Joshua alone and lonely for months on end.
Scowling, he tossed the phone to his desk and turned to the files spread before him. The task force had pulled together a more complete picture of Lukas Page in the past several weeks. Abused, angry, and possibly suffering from a mental disorder, his complicated history was further muddied by his consistent use of drugs and the frustrated depression flowing from homelessness. His sister had tried to help him. He had rewarded her by stealing the money she needed to feed her children, which kept her home in a constant state of chaos, until eventually she was forced to evict him.
Now he wandered from homeless camp to homeless camp, unwanted even by those who endure the same unhappy lifestyle as himself. His disruptive, abusive behaviors eventually caused friends and family to turn away, refusing to help him further. Instead of using these experiences as motivation to seek help and healing, he saw them as an unjustified betrayals that only fueled the fires of his anger and resentment.
Colin knew his husband would say that no human being was beyond redemption. But Colin’s own experience had taught him that such redemption only came to those with a whole-hearted determination to better themselves. Seeking help in order to avoid jail or to save a relationship seldom provided the desired results. And deep-down Colin believed that abusers like Dale Alensworth rarely ever surrendered their desperate need for control. They would continue to abuse those around them until a higher authority, usually either law enforcement officers or prison guards, found ways to contain their perverted need to demonstrate power through violence.
He glanced to his left at the picture of Joshua. The sight of his husband’s sweet smile melted his heart, and he shook his head in sorrow. “You’re wrong, my darling,” he murmured. “There are some human beings who are beyond redemption.” He prayed that Joshua never lost hope and would never do or say anything to diminish that admirable aspect of Joshua’s character. But he knew in his heart that Joshua was destined for pain and disappointment.He’ll keep on believing people can change,Colin thought.And he’ll end up hurt again and again.
He finished pulling together all the newest information on Page, then added it to the information they had already gathered. He read over the final report twice, making sure that all their material was in chronological order, then sent it to both law enforcement officers and Norman Clayton. He glanced at his watch and saw that it was twenty minutes to six. “Damn!”
He pulled on his coat and turned off the lamp. He didn’t have court the next day, so he’d have time tomorrow to process his remaining cases.Gonna take him somewhere nice for dinner,Colin thought as he left city hall and wandered to his car.Gonna show him how much I appreciate him.
Chapter 14
Missing
Joshua escorted his last patient through the lobby and out the clinic exit, then he shot a quick glance at his watch. It was past six-thirty. He rasped out a short, frustrated breath and retraced his steps to his office. Once there he prepped several cases for the following day and filed his notes from his last patient.
Satisfied, he grabbed his cell phone and shoved it into his suit jacket’s interior pocket. Ready to leave, he gave his office a final once-over and grimaced when he spotted Nate’s jacket hanging from the coatrack.
“Damn!”
He stood stock-still staring at it, then he grabbed it from the rack. “Ach! It won’t take that long. I’ll drop it off on my way home.” He hated being any later than he already was, but he knew Colin would understand. Colin had sent a sweet reply when Joshua texted him about being late and even promised to take him out to dinner.
“A couple more minutes won’t hurt,” he mumbled. He looped Nate’s jacket over his arm, picked up his briefcase, then locked his office. His mouth twisted in annoyance when the lock refused to snap into place.Colin’s right,he thought.This fucking lock is a piece of crap.When the lock finally caught, he rattled the handle to test it, then he hissed out an aggravated breath and turned to stride down the corridor leading to the lobby and the clinic’s exit.
It was dusk when he exited the building. He moved down the clinic steps then stopped to secure Nate’s jacket before moving across the sidewalk to the parking lot.
As was his habit ever since his encounter with Dale Alensworth, he stopped at the edge of the lot and looked around. He forced himself to take his time, to examine every car, to check for anything unusual. He had promised Colin that he would follow this ritual every night when he left work, and he didn’t want to break his word.
His husband’s loving concern for his safety was a cherished treasure. Joshua had spent nearly his whole life suffering from an anxiety disorder labeled GAD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder. GAD didn’t cause the intense panic attacks or flashbacks he had endured with PTSD, but in ways it was more insidious.
GAD was, as its name indicated, a generalized feeling of anxiety. A dread or unease which had no specific focus or source, but which never, ever went away. It was a dark cloud that hung over everything Joshua did, every relationship he ever attempted, every goal he set for himself. Many years of therapy had helped Joshua cope, though his affliction had prevented him from ever having a completely normal life. The stresses associated with GAD had significantly disrupted his jobs, his education, his social life. As he approached his early thirties, he despaired of ever being free of GAD’s debilitating effect on his life. Then he met Colin.
Joshua would be the last person on earth to even suggest or believe that any person outside of one’s self can be a ‘cure’ for a mental or emotional disorder. His training and experience had taught him that such healing had to flow from within. It could not be provided by others. It had to be worked for and won by one’s self.
And yet...Joshua also knew that Colin possessed a strength of character that infused everything he did and touched everyone around him. No one who was part of his inner circle could deny the potency of Colin’s presence in their life. He was a protector, but more. He was a safe harbor from which those he loved could rebuild their own strength and find their own center.
As their relationship grew, and particularly after they became live-in partners, Colin’s love and protective strength, coupled with regular therapy sessions with Dr. Deena Mallory, had lifted the dark cloud of anxiety from Joshua’s mind and heart. He no longer walked through life weighed down by a feeling of dread. He no longer lay awake at night in fear of what tomorrow might bring. He could breathe the free air and allow himself to experience joy.
As he steered his car toward the Culbreth Theater, he pictured Colin waiting for him in their home on the Rivanna River, and he felt a thrill expand his chest.Even the thought of going home to him fills me with happiness,he thought.What an amazing gift he is!
