Colin gave a soft laugh and bent to kiss Joshua again. “No. I don’t doubt it. And I’m selfish enough to be glad of it, even if that means that others don’t get quite as much of you. I don’t care. I don’t want anyone but me to eventhinkabout you.”
Joshua’s laugh was a soft exhalation. “I doubt anyone but you cares enough to focus much thought on me.” He caressed Colin’s cheek. “Except maybe our families.”
Colin turned away and husked out a disgusted breath. “Alensworthcared enough.” He stared past Joshua, brow furrowed. “And after I told you that he wouldn’t get anywhere near you.” His head gave a taut shake, upper lip drawn tightly across his teeth. “Goddammit!”
“Colin, don’t,” Joshua begged. He touched Colin’s face, turning his head until their eyes met. “Don’t do that to yourself.”
“I can’t help it, Josh. I should have filed for the restraining order after that bastard left a bullet on the hood of your car. It should have been enough, given his past behavior. But I let it slide.” He gripped Joshua’s shoulder. “If anything ever happened to you...”
“Colin, stop! We can’t control everything, and we’d go insane if we tried. You do everything in your power to protect me, to protect both of us for that matter. But you’re not superhuman! You can’t follow me around twenty-four hours a day, and the world can be a dangerous place. We have to havefaith!”
Colin’s gaze dropped. “I think my faith died with my sister.”
Joshua’s fingers carded through his husband’s hair. “Faith can be renewed,” he whispered.
Colin stared into Joshua’s eyes, his own dark with remembered pain. “I’m—I’mafraidto have faith,” Colin confessed, his voice low.
“Well, that’s the choice isn’t it,” Joshua said, bending to press his cheek to Colin’s. “Faith or fear.” He wrapped both arms around Colin’s neck and drew him down until Colin’s head rested on his shoulder. “Listen to me,” he whispered. “We have every moment we’ve shared since the day we met. Precious moments! Unforgettable moments! We havethismoment. Faith is trusting that we’ll go on having these moments!”
He paused and drew in a wavering breath. “But to me it’s even more than that. It’s trusting that we’ll cherish these moments. That we’ll hold them close like we hold each other close. That we won’t let these treasures drift through our fingers, unnoticed…unappreciated.”
Colin turned toward him, snuggling against him, his arms tight around Joshua’s body.
“We won’t take them for granted, Colin! We’ll cherish every shared moment like we always have and always will. Have faith in those moments, Colin. Because they’reours!That’s the part of life that belongs to us. The part that no one and nothing can ever change or take away. Faith in those moments is our bedrock, my love. Our power over fear.”
He pushed Colin back until their eyes met. “I have faith inyou!I have faith in your love for me. I have faith in the life we’ve built together.” He touched his husband’s cheek. “Doyou?”
Colin swiped at his cheek and swallowed hard. “I do,” he said in a choked whisper. “God, Josh, youknowI do.”
“Then youdohave faith, my beloved,” Joshua whispered. “You have the only faith that matters. And even if the unthinkable happens, nothing can ever take that away.” He stroked Colin’s cheek, then kissed him. “No one wants to experience that kind of loss,” Joshua murmured, his voice thoughtful. “But that kind of pain flows from having known that kind of love.” He kissed Colin again. “Ourkind of love.”
Chapter 13
Task Force
It was a lazy Saturday. Colin and Joshua were idling in their front yard, pretending to wash their cars, while enjoying a sunlit autumn afternoon. Dressed in the skimpiest pair of cut-off shorts he owned and nothing else, Colin was teasing Joshua with an impromptu, bawdy dance which served no purpose other than to show off his muscular physique and turn his husband on.
“Showoff!” Joshua called from the porch steps. “That’s just vain right there, Colin.”
“Me?” Colin said. “Vain?!” He turned the hose toward Joshua, spraying him with water. “How dare you!”
Joshua laughed then dashed toward Colin and leapt into his arms, covering his handsome, Irish face with kisses. “How dare I, indeed,” Joshua muttered, then kissed him again.
“Your car is clean,” Colin announced, waving toward it with an elaborate bow.
“Why the hell areyoubowing?” Joshua said, moving to peer into his Accord. “I did most of the interior work.”
“Whose jacket is that?” Colin asked as he turned to hose down his red Mazda.
“It’s Nate’s,” Joshua replied. He opened the door and pulled the jacket from the back seat to examine it. “He left it there the last time we were at the cabin.” Joshua shrugged and tossed the jacket back into the car. “I’ll drop it off this week sometime.”
He crept up behind Colin and slid both arms around his waist. “You about done here, hot stuff?” He drew in a deep breath, loving the faint whiff of salty sweat coming off Colin’s smooth skin. “You’re all sweaty,” he muttered, then kissed the center of Colin’s spine.
Colin spun in his arms, tossing the hose to one side. “I could getsweatier!” he offered with a grin. “If you’re in the mood to help megetthat way.”
Joshua’s arms remained around Colin’s waist, his lips sliding to the center of his chest where he dropped a line of quick kisses. “When am Inot?”
Colin wrapped Joshua’s head in his arms and kissed his hair, rocking him back and forth. “You’re so damned cute,” he rumbled against Joshua’s ear.
