“But you hate him. He’s a prick.”
I nod. “I know, that’s what I just said. But I was upset and…” I cover my face with my hands and groan into them. “Shit, Court. I was upset. He was mad. He stormed away and then came back and he, well he ordered me into his office, and he’s my boss so I didn’t argue.” I groan again, more dramatically this time. “We kissed and it was hot and rushed and…” I blow out a breath. “I just wanted to feel something other than this crushing pain in my heart.”
She’s staring at me with her mouth hanging open and her eyes wide. “Holy shit. He totally took advantage of you.”
I’m already shaking my head before her words are fully out. “No—No, it wasn’t like that. I—we—” and then I burst into tears. She rushes to my side of the table, pulling me into her arms. The sound that leaves me is ugly and loud, and completely out ofmy control. I grip fistfuls of her coat and bury my face into her shoulder like I’m drowning and she’s the last thing above water.
“He—” I choke. My voice barely works. “Court, I don’t know what I’m doing. I can’t—I don’t know—”
She rubs slow circles between my shoulder blades. “Okay. Okay. Breathe. I’ve got you. I’ve got you.”
I try. I really try. But everything hits at once. “It’s like everything is falling apart,” I whisper, my body shaking. “And I can’t stop it. And I don’t know who to trust and I—” My voice cracks. “I can’t lose anyone else. I feel so alone.”
Courtney holds my face in her hands, her thumbs brushing away tears even as more fall.
“Listen, you haveme.” Her voice is steady. Strong. Unshakable. “And your mum. And Jordan. And you have yourself, babe. I know you don’t feel it right now, but you are stronger than every bad thing that has ever happened to you. I’ve seen it. I’vealwaysseen it.”
I squeeze my eyes shut and force out a nod. “You’re right.”
“And I know it doesn’t feel like it, but he has taken advantage of you. You’re not in the right headspace to make decisions like that. And he’s your boss, Lee. What the fuck was he thinking?”
“We weren’t,” I whisper. “It’s been bubbling away,” I admit. “I wanted it too. But then…” I take a shaky breath. “Then he turned back into that heartless bastard.”
She gives me a sympathetic smile, rubbing my arms. “What a twat.”
A sobbing laugh escapes me. “Massive twat.”
“We all make mistakes,” she says on a sigh. “And you’ve been to hell and back, fucking your boss is just a minor thing. You’ll move past it. Hand your written notice in. Get the hell out of there.”
The house is dark by the time I get home, except for the living room lamp, one of those warm yellow ones that makes everything look softer than it feels.
Mum is sitting in her armchair. Not curled up, not half-asleep, not sedated by the medication that’s been pulling her under every night since Isaac died. And it’s a relief to see.
I smile, but she doesn’t return it; instead, glaring, her eyes are darker than usual, and it throws me for a second. I approach warily, noticing she’s clutching something in her hand tightly.
A white envelope. I peer closer, recognising the shaky handwriting on the front, and my stomach drops.Shit.
“Mum,” I whisper. “You’re meant to be resting.”
“You need to open it.” Her voice is steady, but there’s something cracked beneath it.
I shrug off my coat, my fingers numb. “I’ll open it later, it’s just—”
“No.” Her voice breaks. “Now, Leoni. Open it now.”
I sit down slowly, my whole body cold. She holds the envelope out, but she doesn’t let go right away, as if she’s afraid of what’s inside even as she forces it into my hands.
I slide my finger under the seal. The paper inside is stiff and official.Visiting Order: HMP Penton Vale.Permission granted for:Leoni Doveto visit:Michael Rowe.
“He just wants to see me,” I murmur. “I reached out to tell him about Isaac—”
Mum stands abruptly and grips the edge of the table. “He doesn’t deserve to know.”
I swallow hard. “He’s still our—”
“Don’t.” Her voice cracks and rebuilds into something sharp. “Don’t call him that. Not in this house.”
My throat burns. “Mum—”
