“He was no one. It was brutal. I drank too much, before and after. So yes, it probably happened the way it was supposed to—even though anytime someone told me that, it only made me angry.” Clara paused. “But I’m finally looking forward now. And I’m happy that you’re here, I’m happy about tomorrow, about Nick, and everything. When I met him I was so broken, and he put me back together again. I don’t even know how he puts up with me sometimes.”
“It might be because you’re wonderful,” said Jess. She was thinking of the way he sang to Clara that evening, how he kissed her on the porch. “Because you are beautiful, brilliant,andfabulous, and now he’s the one who gets to live with you for the rest of his life.”
Clara lifted her head up on one arm, smiling. “Well, he did mention something like that.” Jess had never seen her so open-hearted, so comfortable with being soft and feeling. “He’s terrific, and he really loves me. You’ll see it when you get to know him.”
“I think I already do.”
Clara beamed. “For the first time, I knew that everyone—and really, I meanyou—was going to say, Yes, she’s making a wise choice. I mean, there’s his age and everything, but you stop noticing that once you really get to know who he is. He’s so good. There is no compromise. I don’t even wish he was younger, because he wouldn’t be him. And I love him. I evenlikehim. That, I’ve got to tell you, was some kind of revelation.”
“Oh my god,” said Jess. “Remember Ferber?”
Clara groaned. “Do I have to?” They were lying on their sides, facing each other. She started laughing. “He was a startlingly magnificent fuck, though.”
“I figured,” said Jess. Clara’s laughter was contagious. “It’s a thing, though, did you know?Ferber?Ferberizing. It’s an actual verb.”
“I’ll say it was,” said Clara, and then Jess started howling, punching her on the shoulder.
“Not like that,” said Jess between gasps. “It’s for babies.”
“Good heavens.” And now Clara was laughing so hard she had to wipe away tears.
Jess said, “Stop!” She was trying to get control of herself. “No, really.” She wanted to explain. “A sleep method.”
“Asleep method?”
And this was why Jess loved Clara, because Clara just understood that the idea of “sleep methods” was truly the craziest part of this absurd conversation. “The world of babies is very stupid,” Jess told her. “The Ferber Method is when your baby cries and you don’t pick it up.”
“And they gave that a name.”
“They give everything a name.”
“But not necessarilyFerber.”
“I’m sure there’s no relation.” And they were howling again.
“Did you Ferber your baby?” Clara managed to ask after a while.
Jess said, “Not yet.” There were tears in her eyes now too. She’d laughed so hard her throat hurt. She took a deep breath to calm down. “I didn’t think you would ever come back.”
Clara was quiet for a moment before admitting, “I didn’t either.”
“You’re getting married tomorrow.”
“Yup. And look at that red sky.”
“Sailor’s delight.”
“The weather’s going to be fine.”
THE WEEKEND
2007
The plan was hatched on the back of an envelope about a month after the wedding when Nick and Clara were in town trying it all on for size, getting a feel for how they might make a life there. They started the day with brunch at a trendy spot near Jess and Adam’s place in Corktown, a neighbourhood that Clara had never even heard of when she last lived in the city. Jess and Adam were late, even though they lived nearby, and the surly hipster waitress warned Nick and Clara they’d lose their table if their friends didn’t show soon.
It was twenty more minutes before they arrived, Jess hauling the baby—so much bigger than when they’d seen her last—in the car seat, along with a variety of totes and backpacks and a list of excuses: Bella had spat up as they were heading out to the car, and then they’d forgotten her soother, and then they had to change her again, and thetraffic.They lived just three blocks away, and Clara wondered why they had to drive.
Once they’d ordered, the waitress messed up their coffees, and then the baby refused to fall asleep. “So I have to eatfast,” Jess said, shoving eggs Benedict down her throat. “Or I won’t eat at all.”
