He stands before me, disbelieving, his chest heaving with emotion.
“Pretend someone in your family is sick,” I tell him. “And you’ve been called away on an emergency. You have to care for them. Make whatever excuses you can.”
“In the middle of the most important investigation of my life?” he argues.
“Forget that now!” I fume. I need him to understand, to listen. “I will take care of it. You have to save yourself. Don’t come back until I’m gone.”
The thought of facing the Strangler alone—without Myrtle, without Regis, without support of any kind—is enough to topple me, but I can’t let it. I can’t let her death be in vain. I can’t let anyone else get hurt because of my cowardice. It is enough that I left Henry in the world to do more damage. I must face this stronger, deadlier version of him. I must win. It is my only hope for redemption. Maybe not in this life, but in whatever comes next.
He walks over and tries to grab my arms, but I sidestep him. “Calm down. Tell me what this is about.”
“They know!” I screech, fingers curling into claws. The venery doesn’t know yet, but they will soon enough. “Aunt Myrtle… she’s perceptive. She figured it out. She was on her way to kill you when I stopped her.”
He shakes his head. “She knows what exactly?”
“That I told you! About her, me,us!” I pull at my hair, infuriated, the feathers, the toxins, the grief driving me over the edge. “Did you not hear anything from our conversation earlier? There are rules, Regis. We’re not supposed to tell. Especially not a man. Myrtle won’t harm you now.” My voice catches on her name. “But it’s only a matter of time, and I can’t protect you from them all.”
He grips the sides of his head. “Who? Piers, what did you do? Is Myrtle okay?”
I double over, my hands grasping my knees, the tears falling fast like summer rain. “It’s not her you need to worry about,” I choke out. “Not now.”
He glances between me and the cabin, the truth dawning finally. His face goes slack. “You mean she…?”
“Please don’t make me say it,” I beg, unable to form the words with my mouth. A sob burbles in my throat, and I choke it back.
He digs his teeth into a knuckle. “Fuck!” he shouts, tearing his jacket off and throwing it on the ground.
His emotion surprises me, but it shouldn’t. Myrtle has a way of creeping under everybody’s skin. She is irreplaceable. “Now you understand,” I say softly. “You have to go and not come back.”
He looks at me. “I’m not leaving you. Not now.”
Inside, I crater. “You must. Because if you don’t, you won’t even see them coming. Do you hear me? There won’t be time or a way for you to defend yourself. We’re deadly! Don’t you get that? I’m not the only one.” I brush at my face and stand up, staring at him. “You can’t protect me, Regis. But I can protect you, and this is how.”
“Your family,” he says with a question in his eyes.
I nod. “We are many. Not nearly enough to wipe out the evil in this world, but enough to keep a man like you—a good man—from ever standing a chance. They guard our secret fiercely. By telling you, I’ve violated everything that keeps us safe. They’ll punish me for that once they realize. And then they’ll come for you.”
He swallows, the slow bob of his Adam’s apple a punctuation.
“I’ve painted us into a corner,” I tell him apologetically. “Please, just listen to me. Please leave. Once I’m gone, maybe then you can come back. But not for a long, long time.”
He takes a deep breath. “Okay. If it will calm you down, make you feel better, I’ll go. For a little while. But you have to promise me something.”
I heave a sigh of relief. “Anything.”
“Do not go after the Saranac Strangler on your own. You understand? Let my officers and lieutenants take care of it.”
This is not a promise I can make. He has to know that. My life depends on this kill. Other women’s lives depend on it. But I need him to believe me. I need him to leave. So, I swallow my truth and hold my gaze steady. “Deal.”
He does the same. “Deal.”
Watching him walk away is the second hardest thing I’ve ever done, next to killing Ed. Jumping off a bridge was easier by far.
I sigh and turn toward the cabin when he is gone at last. At least I will do some good before I die.
Again.
SHE’S HEAVY.MUCHheavier than I anticipated. I resume my grip around her ankles, one to each side, and lean forward, pulling with everything I have. It took me hours to dig the hole. I wasn’t sure I could even do it, but something kicked in after the first couple of feet like adrenaline, a kinetic power that drove me on, chopping through tree roots and bringing up shovel after shovel of dirt. Thank goodness the soil here is rich and moist, easy to move. She will lie under a blanket of ferns when I’m done. A fitting resting place for someone who loved this land so much.
