“I… no. I’m just changing things up,” I say, avoiding eye contactwith her. I don’t want to get into this right now. Especially not with two people I hardly know.
Emma hums under her breath. “Well,ifyou were ever looking for work, I’m happy to see what we can do.”
This surprises me.
“That’s… very nice of you,” I say. “But I’m just on a break.” Or I’m in denial. Shock, maybe?
Emma hands me her card. “In case you change your mind.”
I’m confused. How does she know I’m not on my way back to work right now? I glance down at my dark grey sweatpants and crewneck with “Asian American Girl Club” embroidered on it. It’s a far cry from my typical work attire: dark jeans and blazers.
I set the bag of candy down. I need to get out of here. “I’ll just take this.” I remove my wallet from my purse, pulling off a piece of paper that’s stuck to it.
What is this—oh my god. The top of the ticket reads “New York Powerball” with yesterday’s date time-stamped on it.
I flip the ticket over. On the back is a phone number scribbled in blue ink. Logan must’ve written this when he went in to see the clerk.
I hate that this makes me grin. Even before the kiss, he must’ve felt enough of a spark like I did to want to give me his number.
As unbelievable as it sounds, I still can’t keep this ticket or accept half of the money. My stomach knots with anxiety and I’m… relieved? It’s a reassuring reminder that I’m still human.
Big money like that creates too much change. It draws the wrong kind of attention. In the rare times Dad won money, people I’d never even heard of would come knocking. It’s literally how I learned I had a great uncle who was still alive. Old debts need to be settled.
You have to get good at saying no. To gambling, to money, to the people asking for it. Dad never mastered the art of no, always losingmore than he gained. I’m trying to learn this lesson for the both of us. The pendulum swung enough when I was a kid. I don’t want that kind of life now. Once I get another job, I’ll be back on track.
I toss the ticket and Emma’s card into my purse with a frustrated sigh and hand her my credit card.
“Let me give you some extra, on the house,” she says. The expression she’s directing at me is one I’d define asconcerned. “We just got sour peach fish from Sweden. Maybe it’ll bring you some good luck.”
I had forgotten that fish symbolize abundance in Chinese culture. That was the candy I got last night. Maybe I should’ve visitedbeforework.
“I already had those—” I start to say when Emma gasps. With the little tongs, she lifts something shiny from the jar.
Now it’s my turn to be surprised. “That’s… my mom’s bracelet!”
Emma drops it into my hand. The latch is broken, which is how it must’ve fallen off. I can go get that fixed today. As for the charms, all but the bird is missing. I dig through the jar for them, but they’re not in there. At least I have the chain back.
Any good endorphins I gained from the returned bracelet vanish when my older brother calls.
I swallow, hesitating. What does Jerry want now?
“Sorry, I need to take this,” I say to Emma, who nods as she packages up the remaining fish.
I take a long, slow inhale through my nose in preparation. On the fourth ring, I answer.
“Have a sec?” Jerry asks.
Probably, he needs more money. Being a van life influencer traveling around the country may be lucrative for some, but it’s not for my brother. Every month he texts in need of cash, so what can I do but send what I can? For most of my life I’ve taken care of him. Ican’t stop now. It’s a little hard to find yourself when your van is broken down on the side of the road. “It’s only a matter of time,” Jerry tells me every time I check in on the status of my reimbursements. If he can just build up his following, he tells me, the bigger sponsors will come.
But now, his tone of voice tells me that this is something different. And the fact that this is a call, not a text.
“What is it?” I ask.
“I had an accident.”
He says it like he’s updating me on trip progress.I’ve made it to Montana. The weather’s great.
“I’m in the hospital,” he adds.
