“Maybe they’ve made up twelve different animals completely,” Randall offers. “I always thought Dolphins and Pandas were unfairly left out.”
“Are they seriously calling themselves ZodiaCupid?” I huff. “He basically stole the idea of our business and digitalized it. He can’t do this to Pó Po’s legacy! And those poor people in Digital Purgatory!”
I cross my arms and watch as Team ZodiaCupid high-five each other and toss branded T-shirts and zip hoodies into the enthused crowd. Bakery Guy’s features don’t look so appealing anymore. Instead, he just looks smug and deceitful.
“Their marketing budget must be insane,” Alisha says, nearly knocking a woman over in a desperate attempt to catch a hoodie in midair. “Ooh, these feel like eco-fleece!”
“Wow, that’s soft,” I say, running my hand along the arm of the hoodie.
“They’re just wannabes,” Randall says.
“Right. Lunar Love is the original. You want quality love, you go to quality matchmakers. Why let an algorithm have so much control when you can have a real, experienced person that you can trust?” I say confidently before realizing I’m still stroking the eco-fleece.
Alisha nods. “That’s the damn truth.”
Bakery Guy continues his presentation, matching the energy of the crowd now decked out in ZodiaCupid swag. “We’re in the beta testing phase,” he says proudly. “For everyone who’s at our booth right now, we’re giving you immediate beta access. Just use the code CHINESEZODIAC. Being mixed race, I hope to share my Chinese culture with you all and work toward bridging communities with ZodiaCupid. It’s my hope that you’ll join us on this journey.”
So Bakery Guy is mixed race like me.
Alisha, Randall, and I immediately huddle in the corner and download ZodiaCupid onto our phones using the beta code. I keep one ear on the founder, who’s fielding questions from the group.
“Thanks, everyone, for your attention,” he says, offering the crowd a giant, suck-up grin. “Again, I’m Bennett O’Brien, and we’re ZodiaCupid!”
Sounds and chatter around me fall away. Bennett O’Brien. Finally, Bakery Guy has a name. Bennett. My lips touch for a brief moment to form theBof his name. I silently repeat the words to myself. I hate the way his name feels on my tongue.
“Let’s see what all the hype is about,” I say, focusing on the task at hand. I type in the code. My screen glows with ZodiaCupid’s logo, a single connected line of a cursiveZ, its last loop turning into an arrow and piercing through a heart. I add my first name and last initial and a fake birthday within my Horse year so my animal sign can populate into the system. I don’t have to worry about finding a decent photo of myself since the app apparently doesn’t let people upload any.
“I hate to say it, but this actually looks good,” Randall says as he taps through the app. “It’s unbelievable how quickly these matches happen. What takes us days takes them seconds.”
I groan. “That’s exactly the problem. Instant isn’t better.”
Around us, more women have gathered to catch a glimpse of the handsome man peddling false hope.
“I read that he’s LA’s most eligible bachelor. Apparently he uses his own app,” one woman says.
“In that case, maybe we should try matching with him,” another woman responds with a giggle. “He just made some list of, like, top ten up-and-coming Asian American entrepreneurs. Pretty impressive.”
I roll my eyes and then continue filling in my empty profile. As soon as I hit Save, matches start trickling in. Thatwasfast. I skim through the animals I’m paired with, expecting compatible Dogs and Tigers to my Year of the Horse. Instead, a variety of animal signs and noises appear. They don’t even know my birth hour, yet they’re providing me with this wide range of animals.
“I think a Snake just hissed at me,” Alisha says, stunned.
This is all wrong. I return to the match page and continue scrolling to see what other signs I’ve been paired with. While my compatible animal signs appear, there are also Monkeys, Pigs, Snakes, and Oxen.
“I never thought I’d know what sound Dragons make, yet here we are,” I mumble. A few more seconds later, a Rooster crows at me.
“Maybe they’re bots. Or it’s the company’s back system flattering users and making them feel like the app works. Or,” Randall says conspiratorially, “it’s a ploy to steal users’ data.”
“It’s impersonal and inaccurate. People won’t fully understand who they’re being matched with and why, let alone what their signs mean. Without a matchmaker, people lose the human element of falling in love,” I say, trying to steady my shallow breathing.
Alisha nods. “People are more complex than what these animal traits imply,” she says, her lips forming a tight line. “And there’s so much variety within each animal sign.”
“Welcome to the twenty-first century,” I say with a sigh. “I guess all animal signs will be matched in one way or another instead of following tradition.” This thought pains me. “We can’t let them take advantage of people like this! Maybe they’ll never make it through beta because of terrible reviews. It’ll be so bad that people will realize that there’s a lot more to zodiac matchmaking than simply pairing animals together.”
I watch as the crowd continues growing around the ZodiaCupid booth. Bennett shakes hands with a few audience members, his face beaming with pride. From my corner, I can hardly see his dimples, but I remember them so vividly that he might as well be standing right in front of me.
“Their app will crash and die a fabulous death before ever making it to launch,” Alisha snickers.
I narrow my eyes at Bennett from across the room. “I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
