Was this a past event? Perhaps after Micah’s assault? No, that couldn’t be since Micah hadn’t lived in this apartment back then. It had to be a future one.
Other Micah looked around the room like he hadn’t heard Everett at all. “I thought… I thought I heard him.”
Everett sighed, then sat on the couch and pulled Other Micah into a hug. Other Micah’s voice was muffled against his brother’s neck as he said, “I swear it was him.”
Pulling off his glasses, Everett wiped his eyes and put a hand to his forehead like Other Micah’s words were causing him physical pain. “It’s going to be okay. How about you have a shower, hm? I’ll order something with a criminal amount of cheese, then we’ll eat and… It’ll be okay.”
Other Micah stood from the couch, such an expression of defeat in his face that Cosmo resisted the urge to rush inside and squeeze him tight. But he wouldn’t have had time to anyway, because frantic particles engulfed Micah and Everett, and they disappeared.
Everett’s disembodied voice drifted. “Don’t bother looking for your razor. It’s not in there.”
“Jesus. That’s not necessary,” Other Micah said. “You hide my knives too?”
“We’ll eat with our hands like the animals we are.”
Cosmo thumped his head against the doorframe. Poor Micah. What had happened to warrant him falling into such a depression?
Footsteps padded down the hall, and present-Micah stopped in the living room and shook his phone. “Sorry about that. Was looking for the source of the ringing, then my phonedidring. It was Rye Williams. Do you know Rye? Surrealist furniture artist who makes chairs you can’t sit in? They live in the apartment below this one. I guess they’ve heard that I complain when music is too loud, so they wanted to make sure theirs wasn’t. I told them to invite me to whatever party they have going on, and I won’t complain. So they did.” He snorted, then stepped outside and slid his arm around Cosmo’s waist. “It’s a Halloween party. I wasn’t really serious about wanting to be invited, but… It might be fun? I haven’t been to a party in who knows how long.”
“Oh.” Cosmo had been so distracted by everything going on that he hadn’t made the connection that the music and laughter below the balcony was coming from Rye’s party. “I got an invitation to that.”
Micah searched Cosmo’s face. “You okay?”
“Sure. Yeah.” The Micah of right now was coercing people into inviting him to parties. He was prepping for a gallery reception. He was practicing letting Cosmo into the apartment, even if it was hard and he couldn’t do it yet. Such a far cry from the defeated man sleeping on the couch. “Can I ask… Do depressive episodes still happen to you often?”
“Uh, that would imply that they’ve ever gone away.” He slid down against the wall, then pulled Cosmo into his lap. “It was the worst in the first months after my assault. I eventually got out of it, but I’m still sensitive to setbacks. I’m glad you didn’t see me last week after you broke up with me.”
Cosmo cringed. Oh no. When Other Micah had woken up on the couch, he’d said,I thought I heard him.Where was Cosmo? He had no plans to break up with Micah again. He wanted to drown in this sweatshirt, drown in Micah, no matter how many harassing comments he got from Zedd and his friends. He opened his mouth to tell Micah what he’d seen, but Micah spoke first.
“Are you thinking about Royce? Is it hard to get out of bed now? We can talk about it, if you want.”
“What? No.” He’d talked to Mom, and that was enough for now. “I’m fine. It’s not the first time someone kissed me without consent. Honestly, if I’m going to be upset about each of those times, I might as well never leave my house again.”
“This time it was your boss, though. And he tried to turn it back on you. Make it seem like you were at fault.”
Royce had deserved every slap Cosmo had given him, but knowing that didn’t make the guilt go away. “You should be worrying about yourself.”
Micah tensed slightly. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“That came out rude. It’s just that…” Cosmo glanced into the apartment at the empty couch and clean floor where there had previously been a stack of dirty dishes. He ran the back of his hand down Micah’s smooth, freshly-shaven cheek. “I sawsomething. When you went looking for your phone. I saw – I sawyou, depressed. The living room a mess. And your brother was helping you up to go take a shower.”
Micah’s face turned ashen. His throat worked, then he turned back toward the living room. “It took you this long to tell me that?”
Cosmo hunched his shoulders. “I can’t help but think it’s somehow my fault. I don’t know what would make me–”
“No, no.” He turned back and leveled his gaze, his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose. “I’m sure it’s not you. When I get like that, sometimes it’s not even a big thing that causes it. It’s depression. It doesn’t need a reason to show up.” He blew out a slow breath. “Must be pretty bad for Everett to come help, though. And these timeline intrusions are getting annoying. I didn’t mind with you. At least you’re cute. Now I’m just faced with my unwashed future self.”
“I know I can’t make it go away, but you’re making progress on things and I am more than happy to continue helping you with it. If you backslide and your brother needs to remind you to shower and eat, that’s going to be a sad turn of events, but it doesn’t negate your efforts. Setbacks don’t mean defeat.”
“My museandmy life coach. How did I get so lucky?”
Cosmo presumed that was defensive sarcasm, but when he looked into Micah’s face, all he saw was sincerity. It should have been reassuring. Cosmo wasn’t a flake. He was dependable, always there when loved ones or a job needed him.
So where was he in Other Micah’s future?
20
SOMEBODY’S WATCHING ME
