“Then come on, girlfriend.” Windy reached for her hand. “Let’s you and me cut the rug.”
“Cut the rug?” Riva laughed.
Windy held out a hand toward her. “Come on, you come too.”
“I’d rather be a spectator for the moment,” she said.
“She’s inhibited and repressed,” Laurel told Windy in a teasing tone.
Windy nodded. “Well, the night is young, Riva. We’ll get you out there.”
Riva watched them go, then took a deep breath and had a sip of wine. This whole thing was way out of her comfort zone, but at least she’d made the effort to come. She knew her friends were partly right. She was somewhat inhibited and repressed. She knew it was related to what she’d told Marcus when they’d skipped out on the grief group. Her two years of caring for a dying man—her best friend and true love—had changed her. Made herolder, sadder ... inhibited. At the moment, she wasn’t even sure that, despite her recent efforts, she could ever undo that change. Maybe it was like aging—inevitable. When no one was paying attention, it just happened.
After that number ended, another began, and the dancers started up again. Riva tried to feign amusement as she continued to look on, like she was pleased to be here and highly entertained by the merrymaking going on out there. But truth be told, she felt irritated. Oh, the music was good ... Fiona’s band was very talented. But she felt so out of place right now. A complete misfit. And she wondered if there was a way to make a graceful exit. Maybe she could leave a note on a cocktail napkin or send a text or just vanish and let them wonder. It wasn’t dark outside yet, and her house was less than a mile away. The thought of fresh clean air and a nice walk on a warm summer evening was tempting.
She glanced around the room, which was growing increasingly more crowded, and decided to make a fast break. If anyone noticed her absence, perhaps they’d think she’d gone to the ladies’ room. But she was barely out of her chair when Marcus cut off her escape.
“Heading for the dance floor?” he asked hopefully.
“I, uh, I was actually getting ready to sneak out,” she confessed.
He looked concerned. “Are you feeling okay?”
“Yes, I’m fine.” She cringed. “Just a little out of place.”
“That’s because you should be dancing.” He held out a hand. “Come on. Give it a try. Save me from another dance with Kitty.”
“Where did she go?”
“Getting herself another mojito.” He smiled. “Come on, Riva. Live a little.”
“Okay.” She felt a mixture of reluctance and nerves. Part of her wanted to dance with Marcus. Part of her wanted to run. The song playing was a little less lively than the earlier tunes, and Marcus took her hand and, with a hand behind her back, began to lead her in a two-step. He was a good dancer, and aftera bit, she felt herself relax. By the time the song ended, she was actually smiling.
“Fun, eh?” he asked.
She nodded. “Surprisingly. My roommates gave me dancing lessons the other night. I think it’s paying off.”
“Go again?” he asked as the next song started.
“Okay.”
And so they danced a second time. And then a third. But when she caught a glimpse of their table, she noticed Laurel sitting alone. “I think I need a break,” she told Marcus between songs.
He looked surprised. “Tired?”
“Worried about Laurel. She looks unhappy.”
He looked toward the table. “Should I ask her to dance?”
“Yes! She would love that.”
With Marcus and Laurel two-stepping together, free-spirited Windy dancing by herself, and Kitty dancing cheek to cheek with a young guy in a cowboy hat, Riva was alone at the table again. She didn’t really mind. Or that’s what she told herself. But the truth was she felt awkward and out of place. She didn’t belong in a pub like this, where singles came in the hopes of making a good connection. Especially if it was a temporary one.
Everything about today’s world felt like that ... temporary ... disposable. Use it, lose it, throw it away. How many of these couples would still be together tomorrow? Maybe that’s how they preferred their relationships. Noncommittal. Easy come, easy go. She watched as carefree younger people flirted, danced, drank, and mixed with each other happily. How could an old widow, still in love with her husband, possibly fit in? Clearly she didn’t belong here.
Chapter19
Riva was just planning another escape when Windy spotted her sitting alone and came over. “Come on, Riva.” She tugged her to her feet and out to the dance floor. “I need a partner and your dancing isn’t going to improve by sitting on your hind end all night.”
