“There’s a nastiness deep inside Crenshaw, and I don’t want it touching you.”
“You didn’t like him even when you served together?” Mattie asked.
Leo hated talking about the war, especially the memories tied up with Alfred. But this was important for Mattie to hear, to understand... for her own safety.
“No,” Leo said shortly.
Mattie didn’t ask another question like she normally would. She must have sensed this was difficult for him. And that was Mattie. Always understanding him when no one else did.
“He wasn’t like the rest of the pilots.” Leo forced himself to continue. “It wasn’t just that he was brash. A lot were. But he had a meanness, a competitiveness, that went beyond rivalry. He gloried in death. He’d shoot at a pilot even after it was clear that the enemy’s plane was crippled badly enough that the German fighter would need to land within our lines and be captured.”
Mattie opened both eyes now. They looked softer, the blues and greens predominating. “Did you have many interactions with him?”
“Not as many as he had with Alfred.” It hurt even saying his old friend’s name. Leo swallowed and focused for a moment on just rubbing the muscles near Mattie’s delicate spine. “They were competitors, Alfred and Crenshaw, each vying to be America’s Ace of Aces. Plus, you know how Alfred could never tolerate a bully.”
“No, he couldn’t,” Mattie said softly.
“Alfred was a favorite of the other aviators. Crenshaw resented that almost as much as Alfred’s talent. Even if Crenshaw had taken down more planes during a battle, everyone always talked about Alfred’s escapades instead. Your brother also was just a better pilot. Someone played a series of nasty pranks on Alfred, including removing the firing pins from the guns on his fighter. We could never prove it, but we always suspected Crenshaw.”
“I promise to maintain a healthy distance from Earl Crenshaw,” Mattie told him, “but I doubt he’ll ever pop up again. Meeting him in Chicago was just a coincidence.”
“And you’ll tell me if you do encounter him again?” Leo asked.
“I will.”
Even with Mattie’s assurances, Leo couldn’t stop the chill of foreboding. He hadn’t experienced a metallic taste in his mouth like this since the Great War. He felt like he had on an evening before a major mission. And now, he didn’t have as many layers of numbness to wrap his concerns in. Slowly but surely, Mattie had been stripping away that protective padding, leaving him raw to the world.
Mattie shifted and sat up. Yawning, she reached her arms toward the ceiling and moved her head from side to side. Her stretches weren’t meant to entice, but her sinuous movements entranced him all the same.
“It’s your turn for the massage.” Mattie gave him a mischievous smile as she stood up and patted the cushions she’d just vacated.
Gingerly, Leo stretched out on the bench. To his surprise, Mattie straddled his back. She placed one knee on either side of his rib cage as she kneeled above him. When her fingers brushed against him, his muscles all simultaneously contracted.
“I believe a massage is supposed to make you less tense, not more,” Mattie teased as she kneaded the tops of his shoulders.
“I’m sorry.” His apology came out muffled. “I’m not used to anyone tending to me.”
Mattie pressed her thumb into a particularly tight knot. Pain and pleasure mixed, and he groaned helplessly and audibly.
“Why are you so stubborn about accepting help when you so freely give it?” Mattie asked, her voice slightly distracted as she worked his flesh.
“I’ve had to be self-reliant, I suppose,” Leo admitted as the kink in his shoulder finally unfurled. “It’s habit now.”
“When flying against the Germans?” Mattie asked.
“Long before that.” Leo didn’t know why he allowed the words. Perhaps it was the effect of sweltering in the vapor-filled cave and then plunging into the icy water. Maybe it was Mattie’s hands, so firm yet still gentle as they touched him. It might have even been her voice, soft and sweet. Or it could have been the fact that he yearned for a connection with Mattie, and he knew he’d never achieve one if he didn’t give something of himself.
“You’ve never talked about your childhood.”
Leo tensed again, and Mattie immediately stopped pressing against his skin. He had a choice. He could relax his guard and finally open fully to her... or he could keep everything closed off. He knew how to make his inner self impregnable. He’d done it for decades. What he didn’t know was how to set down the armor he’d spent so many years carefully crafting.
But he needed to try.
Mattie leaned back. Perhaps she had pushed Leo too far. But as they had grown closer, she had found herself longing to understand more about his past. She had always been attuned to Leo, always felt a link. But despite those unspoken ties, she did not know many basic facts about his personal history. She did not know where he’d grown up, how many siblings he had, or whether he’d had any pets.
“Could...” Leo trailed off for a moment before continuing. “Could you touch me again? Like you were? It makes this all easier somehow.”
Mattie’s heart flipped in her chest. She leaned forward and quietly began kneading his strong, corded muscles. He had so much strength, her Leo, both internal and external. But what had forged it?
