Mattie dipped her chin, and she suddenly looked young, like the willowy slip of an adolescent who’d taught him how to fly. An ache formed in his chest, mixing unevenly with the anxious readiness already pumping through him. He reached forward, his hand almost brushinga tendril of her red hair back behind her ear. But that gesture was too intimate, too forward, so he settled on patting her shoulder. At his touch, she didn’t shake him off as he’d thought she might. The fact that she accepted the gentle weight of his palm sent a zip of energy careening through his already volatile emotions.
“Yeah, something is gnawing at me.” Mattie tilted her head, her cheek brushing against his knuckles. Leo had no idea if she’d meant to touch him, but it felt both natural and alien.
Her eyes fluttered closed, as if she was gathering a modicum of strength. “I talked to Pa tonight—argued, more like. He was calling to let me know that he didn’t get a loan extension.”
“What loan extension?” Leo asked, his fingers automatically starting to squeeze Mattie’s shoulder before he caught himself. Awkwardly he dropped his hand before she realized how much her words had affected him. He needed to be strong for her, not add to her worries.
Mattie gave a half smile. “I guess he didn’t let you in on that particular secret.”
“What secret?” Leo kept his voice neutral, a talent he’d learned long ago in the orphanage, even as his heart began to thump.
Mattie kicked a little at the tufts of the rug before she took off pacing. “The final payment is actually due this fall, not next spring like Pa originally said. He thought he could get an extension.”
Leo’s body instantly tensed. His already exercised heart didn’t need an excuse to start thumping madly again. Until he’d met the McAdamses, he’d lived with hunger and the constant thrum of worry that he might never find that next meal. He’d gone barefoot and worn clothes until they were about ready to fall from his skinny frame. He knew how to handle his own precarious financial situation, but not the McAdamses’.
“I’ll see if I can rustle up more endorsement deals.” Leo rubbed the back of his head. Heloathedcapitalizing on his war-hero status tomake dough, but he’d do it for Mattie, Walt, and the boys. He owed it to them.
“I was thinking that it was time I did the same,” Mattie said.
That familiar prickle of unease slipped through Leo, giving him another emotion that he didn’t want to deal with. “Courting attention isn’t as glamorous as it looks from the outside. It can be a darn nuisance.”
Like having an unscrupulous parent appear out of the woodwork and then blackmail you.
Mattie flipped her braid over her shoulder. “I don’t think I’ll mind it as much as you.”
No, she probably wouldn’t hate the public’s interest. Mattie had always been outgoing. She didn’t like to retreat into the shadows like he did.
“The crowds can get vicious, turn on you.” Leo cleared his throat. “Remember how that one town acted when I couldn’t fly due to the fog? We all thought they were going to grab their pitchforks.”
Evidently, Mattie wasn’t in the mood to hear any of his concerns. He could tell by the way she jutted her jaw. “Then I’ll just have to make sure I don’t disappoint the audience, won’t I?”
The unsettled feeling inside Leo burst into full-blown worry. “Mattie, sometimes I think all the crowd wants to see is a crash. Don’t risk your life feeding other people’s bloodthirstiness.”
Mattie heaved out a huge sigh, so large that he could see the rise and fall of her chest even under her loose hand-me-down shirt. “So we’re back to this, are we? You trying to stop me from flying.”
“I’m not trying to prevent you altogether, Mattie. I just don’t want you hurt; that’s all.” Leo took another step in her direction. He hadn’t intended to, but he wanted her to understand, to see the perils he saw.
Her thin shoulders rose so high they seemed ready to poke through the cotton fabric covering them. “I’m adding more stunts to my routine tomorrow.”
Leo’s dream came thundering back, as strong and as real as it had seemed during his slumber.“Aren’t the flames grand? Just think of how well I’ll show up doing night-flying tricks now!”Mattie’s voice flashed into his mind along with the memory of the fire licking over her fuselage.
“No.” The hoarse word tumbled from Leo’s lips—harsh and instinctual. He didn’t take the time to think of its effect on Mattie. It just ripped from him.
The green glint in Mattie’s eyes froze over the warmer golds and browns. She jammed her hands on her hips as she leaned toward him. “I am done with you telling me that.”
“Mattie,” Leo croaked out, his throat suddenly as dry and scratchy as sandpaper, “you shouldn’t make decisions like this when you’re emotional.”
Mattie’s red eyebrows shot into the air as she advanced on him. “When I am emotional? WhenIam emotional? WhenIamemotional? What about you? Are your emotions not entering into this? Are you really as cool and logical as you think you are?”
Leo almost blurted out that he was, because he didn’tfeelanything anymore. His finer emotions had always been muted, and the war had dampened even those faint glimmers. But before he could confess his emptiness to Mattie, he stopped. Not just because he wanted to hide his deadness from her—which he most certainly did—but because he realized the truth of what she’d said.
Hedidfeel fear. For her. And that worry consumed him—his mind awash with images from his dream blended with memories of Alfred’s real crash. He was not acting entirely rational himself.
“Mattie, can we just discuss this?” he asked, wishing they could start the conversation over, hoping that she’d let him.
“No.” Mattie shook her head. “Not now. I thought we could talk it over, but it’s clear that if I’m going to make a name for myself and save the family business, I need to plan my own tricks. On my own.”
Her words seared through him. He felt like he was losing her again, just as he had all those years ago when her brothers had grounded her from Alfred’s memorial flight. The pain felt the same—perhaps even harsher because he’d been almost entirely numb in those early days. But as much as it hurt, he couldn’t allow Mattie to exchange her life for glory.
