“I know you do, but do not make him hate you. There is a killer living freely in Rome still, and Helvius might be able to help find him.”
She cocked her head. “You say information about Severina, not Domitiana. Do you think Severina is the one hiring men to kill for her?”
“Possibly.” I lifted the cup again but did not drink. “Domitiana is selfish, but I think she is no more than that. She enjoys herself indulging in gladiators and parties and her gardens, yes, but I saw no cruelty in her. She had Herakles fight me with blunted weapons and little possibility for either of us to be hurt. She fussed all over Herakles when he lost—she’d have done the same if he’d won.”
“And Severina?” Cassia asked.
“She has a ruthless streak, I think.” I shrugged, not knowing how to put my speculations into words. “I’ve known many gladiators. Some fight only because they are forced to. They do their best to stay alive, but they kill to survive, and regret those they slay. Then there are those who relish the kill. They go out of their way to win, and they gloat in their victory. You see it in their eyes, their need to gut you, to feel your blood on their skin.”
Cassia watched me, her face tight. “Have you fought many such men?”
“A few. Most gladiators want to win, yes, but they prefer an honorable fight. They want the glory and to be known for their skill, even if they lose. I have also battled those who would do anything to make the kill.” I ran my thumb over the uneven ceramic of the cup. “I won those bouts.”
“I am glad.”
Her words were quiet, but the sincerity of them warmed something inside me that had been cold a long time.
“They make mistakes, those men,” I continued. “They are so certain they will vanquish that they grow overconfident and underestimate their enemy. Too many wins, and they become careless.” My speech grew slower. I was tired, and I disliked thinking back on my life in the arena. “I never believed I was destined to win whenever I stepped out onto the sand. Every fight was different. All the training helped my body make decisions for me when the blows began, but I had to let the fight itself tell me what to do. I didn’t think about conquest, or death. It was one move at a time. One blow was never the same as the next. I took what the other fighter gave me and gave back what I learned from him.”
Cassia’s lips had parted as she listened. “I am vain enough to believe myself wise,” she said when I finished. “But I believe your wisdom surpasses any I’ve ever known.”
I shook myself out of my remembrances and gazed at her in perplexity. “You have known some very stupid people then.”
Her faint smile returned. She always gave me that particular smile after my jokes, as though humoring an elderly relative.
“You should retire,” Cassia said. “It has been a long night.”
I rose. “Severina has invited me to her home for dinner,” I told her. “After the Lupercalia.”
All amusement drained from Cassia’s face. “No,” she said sharply. “You must not go.”
Chapter 18
Ihad started to turn for my bed, but I halted. “Why?” I asked sharply. “What did Helvius tell you?”
Cassia rose from her stool. “Nothing that I haven’t already relayed. But you just said that she has the cruelty that could have led to the deaths of Ajax and Rufus.”
“Yes, she is predatory. Evil even. But what better way to catch her than let her try to kill me?”
“Are you mad?” Cassia balled her fists but kept them rigidly at her sides. “Think. If she is the one, she lures the gladiator to her home with promises of fine food, wine, and amorousness. Once there, she adds something to his food or drink to put him in a stupor or at least lull him to be incautious. Severina has several large bodyguards—they could do the killing for her, for whatever her perverse reason. She will make certain her husband is out—or perhaps she sedates him too. He’d be no help to you even if he was present.”
“I don’t plan to eat or drink anything she serves me. I’ll spit out the food and wine when she isn’t looking.”
“If the bodyguards are there watching you?” she argued. “You will likely have to swallowsomething. Some poisons work very quickly, even if only a drop gets into your mouth.” Cassia, who had been poisoned herself once, shuddered as she spoke.
“I can think of no other way.” My voice grew harsh. “Unless we are there to catch her in the act, who would believe us? A former gladiator and a slave sold in the Forum?”
“Nero might.”
“Might.He will want proof. If Vestalis is as lauded as Helvius claims, the magistrates will be careful about arresting and condemning his wife. She is not a whore in a lupinarius, but the daughter of a very wealthy man and the wife of a former proconsul.”
Nero could always override the senate if he wanted a man executed, and he often did, but he would not do so on the speculations of nobodies like us. Yes, he wanted a culprit for the killings, but even he would be careful.
“What if the magistrates refuse to believe you even if youdocatch her in the act?” Cassia asked. “In that case, you could be very dead, all for nothing.”
I put my hand on the wall to keep myself from stomping back and forth in frustration. “What do you suggest, then?”
“As I suggested once before, I can gain entry to Severina’s house and observe what she does. Helvius knows their servants. He can sneak me inside.”
