“You didn’t know they were getting engaged?” he says, the drop of challenge in his tone.
I shake my head. “I haven’t been around. I’m out of the loop.”
He chuckles sardonically. “So it’s not only been with me?”
I glance over to read his expression. Is he hurt? Is he angry? If I could go back and give up this new career to make him happy, would I? I don’t think so, which surprises me.
I’ve always been a people pleaser. Yet here I am with a goal other than that of pleasing my boyfriend. I still want the relationship, but not as much as I want a healthy relationship.
“I’m glad we’re getting this chance to reconnect,” I offer.
“Well.” He shifts. “You can’t just come back and expect me to propose the way your future brother-in-law did.”
“Nephew-in-law.”
“What?”
“Teresa is my niece, remember?”
“That actually makes this worse.”
I shake my head. “How?”
He shrugs, like it’s obvious. “Your niece is engaged before you are. If your family wasn’t already putting pressure on me to pop the question, then they will be now.”
I narrow my eyes to study him closer. As much as I care for him, I’m not liking what I see. “This isn’t about my family.”
He lifts his chin. “Prove it.”
My eyebrows dip. What is he suggesting? “How?”
He shifts forward, forearms on thighs. Firelight flickers over his skin, shadowing the hollows of his eyes. “Move in with me.”
My heart wavers. If only it were that easy.
It would be easier on my finances than trying to find my own place. It would be easier to make time for each other because we’d see each other at home. It would be easier to put his insecurities at ease when he can see how loyal I am.
It might make him happy. But I’m realizing it would also harm him. Keep him from learning to respect boundaries. Allow him to avoid the kind of commitment needed for the future I want, with marriage and children. Let him minimize my feelings.
I’m still afraid of losing Wyatt. If I say no and this relationship ends, I’ll be further away from my dream of family. I’ll be starting over again.And if maintaining a relationship while working as a flight attendant is this hard, then I can’t imagine how challenging it would be to start a new one.
Honestly, I’d rather hang on to the known. All I have to do is accept Wyatt’s offer. I can choose to keep him.
“Wyatt.” I reach for his hand. It’s warm and firm. It symbolizes the stability and companionship I’ve craved since losing my ability to dance. Until recently, my identity had come from being his girlfriend, my worth from what I saw in his eyes. But not anymore. While he was afraid I might find those things in another man, I ended up finding them in God. I don’t need a boyfriend to define me anymore. I’m valuable because I was created with value. I’ve found faith, hope, and purpose. That doesn’t mean I’m perfect, and it doesn’t mean I’m leaving him. It means I’ve learned what love is and am not going to settle for less.
I take a deep breath and finally respond to his ultimatum. “I love you too much to do that.”
Chapter Thirty
Nathan
There isnofailing inflying, only lessons forthenext flight.
—SAYING IN THE AVIATION COMMUNITY
Ihadn’t been looking forward to my normally quiet Thanksgiving with Dad becoming all about his new wife Sarah’s sons. But I must admit, everything feels a little more magical with kids around. Even if a couple of them are teenagers.
Instead of simply watching football while deep-frying our traditional turkey, we all play a game of Spoons, which starts out relatively tame and then devolves to placing the spoons at the top of the staircase. Of course, this leads to a wrestling match, which gets us sent outside, and ends up as a snowball battle. It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a snowball battle, and I hadn’t realized it’s a better workout than CrossFit. I’m gonna be sore.
