I pull out my phone and google. Does the Tenderloin even have churches? Talk about hypocrites—the area gets its name from the way criminals used to bribe police officers with tenderloin steaks. But if ever an area needed to be served ...
“Come on, Claire. I’m joking.”
I relent. “We don’t have to go to church this weekend since I’m here to see you, but I do want to find a place to attend once I move back.” I twist my lips in compassion. “I know you were hurt by a pastor, but not everyone is like that. I learned this the hard way, because I literally ran away from one who I thought was going to mug me.”
Wyatt gives me the side-eye. “How are you supposed to know the difference?”
I set my phone in my lap to search for answers out the window. Our world is a dangerous place, while at the same time, the people in it need to be loved. There are no simple solutions.
As Vivienne pointed out, we can’t ignore our instincts. But we also shouldn’t live out of fear. So how do we know where to draw the line?
Pastor Liam had said something about wanting to offer the homeless in his community a hand up rather than a handout. He’s loving with boundaries. “Maybe it’s the difference between inviting someone into the light rather than joining them in darkness.”
“And you think the light is at church?”
“No ...” We both know bad stuff can happen at church too. “I think maybe God is the light, and we have to draw close to Him to see the difference between our false judgments and our true discernments.” Yeah. Perhaps if I’d taken time to pray when I was scared of Liam, God would have given me discernment to head into the 7-Eleven for a safe interaction,rather than panic and run the opposite direction. “I’m new at this. I need all the help I can get, and I found help at church last week.”
Clarifying my feelings this way brings a sense of peace. I need to write these things down. Maybe even start a journal for such unexpected insights.
Wyatt grunts noncommittally.
I turn from him to the search engine on my phone. “Will you give it a try once I move back?”
“I’m not going to the Tenderloin.”
The moment he says this, my search pulls up a couple listings for churches in the impoverished area. I’m relieved to find there are places of worship there, but would I dare visit them if Wyatt doesn’t join me? I’ve avoided the Tenderloin my whole life. “I might take an Uber just to try it.”
Wyatt shakes his head. “What’s gotten into you lately?”
I look up in surprise. I know my life has been different since I started this job, but for the first time, I’m not changing to conform so much as daring to be real.
“Nathan goes to church, doesn’t he?”
I blink, surprised that Wyatt knows this, and not catching his connection. “Yeah. He invited Angel during their first date, and she invited me.”
“Is he still dating Angel?”
Wyatt asks this as if he doesn’t think Nathan’s interested in my roommate, while I think she hurt him. He wasn’t himself when he dropped me off at my condo last Sunday, and it has to be because she doesn’t want a family.
“No. Turns out she’s not interested in marriage, while he is,” I explain, though I’m pretty sure I’d already told him this.
Wyatt pulls up to a stoplight, then faces me. “Tell me you’re not wanting to attend a homeless church to impress him.”
Laughter bursts from my lips, and I rush to keep Wyatt from thinking I’m laughing at him. “Planning to attend church in a sketchy area of town is not about trying to win anyone’s approval. It’s more about overcoming past fears and prejudice. It’s finding meaning outside the limelight.It’s the beauty of serving.” His assumption is ridiculous, but so was mine when I ran from the homeless pastor. Rather than hurt Wyatt like I got hurt, I want to show him what he’s missing. My words definitely speak to me. Emotion wells in my chest, and I’d love to be able to share it with my boyfriend. “No, I’m not trying to impress Nathan. He just got me thinking.”
The light turns green. Wyatt focuses back on the road. “Me too.”
Chapter Twenty-Six
Nathan
There’s nosuch thing asaroutine flight.
—SAYING IN THE AVIATION COMMUNITY
Ever since I earned enough seniority at work to take off the days I choose, I’ve attended church on Sundays with Vincent. It will change once I upgrade to captain. I’ll be junior man all over again, and the company will pretty much own me.
That being said, I should really attend services while I can. Unfortunately, there’s a good chance Claire will be at church today.
