She was certain of only one thing: Her fake marriage was about to get very real.
CHAPTER NINE
There it was,right in front of him.Cold, hard proof that he’d fucked up big this go-around.Looking down at the trash, the torn piece of latex lying pathetically at the bottom of the can, Jace’s skin crawled.He’d made some epic mistakes before, but nothing that had the potential to wreck someone else’s life.Worse yet, they’d just talked about the kid issue, and Aurelie had told him pretty point-blank how she felt about them.
Four or five, she’d said.But not with a man who couldn’t give her any real commitment.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.Thoughts of his mother swirled in his head while he cleaned up the results of their escapade.She’d died giving birth to him.He hadn’t allowed himself to fall in love his whole life, in large part because of that defining moment at the start of it.But he cared for Aurelie, and the idea that something might happen to her made him sick to his stomach.
He needed to run, to leave, to get the hell back to LA, where things may be less than ideal, but at least they wouldn’t undo him.
He peered through the crack in the bathroom door at Aurelie, curled up in a ball on the bed, her naked form somehow still alluring as fuck.
Well, leaving was out the fucking window.He’d committed to protecting her, but from himself?He was shit at this fake-husband thing, wasn’t he?
“How are you doing?”he asked her, placing his hand on the small of her back.When she flinched like she had at Joe’s, he had his answer.God, was he a first-class asshole.This was something that happened to high-schoolers; it didn’t happen to adults who had their act together.
“I’m fine.It’s fine.Mistakes happen, right?”
“Right,” he echoed.
“I should check on Maddie.”Aurelie threw on his shirt and buttoned it, then walked out of the room without meeting his gaze.
Her actions screamed that she was anything but fine.The only problem was he had no damn idea what to do about it.One of the liabilities of marrying someone you knew nothing about was that you had no clue how they reacted to tough news.Or what they needed to heal.Did Aurelie want space?Or to talk?Or space, then talk?Or did she need to go for a run to get out her frustrations?Maybe she was one of those women who journaled her feelings, coming out the other end refreshed and calmer.Somehow, as he mulled over that last possibility, he didn’t think Aurelie was one of those women.
She ran hot; he knew that much.Learning much more would be a liability to falling for her, but what choice did he have?
Screw it.He ran after her, found her standing over Maddie’s crib, rubbing the infant’s back as she slept.
“Hey,” he started, but was cut off by a choked sob that shook Aurelie’s chest.He leaned forward and saw a stream of tears falling on the faded blue fabric of his shirt, confirming how she felt about the incident.“Talk to me, please,” he whispered.
Aurelie turned to face him, and though he would give anything to make sure she never shed a tear out of fear or sadness again, his breath hitched when he saw what the moisture did to her lashes.It was as if she’d just come in from a storm, the heat captured in her cheeks adding to the effect.She was stunning.
“It’s just a lot.You don’t want kids at all, and I don’t want them with a man I’m fake-married to.”
That simple admission said everything.He’d done this whole thing wrong from the start.Tried to be the real-life hero who swooped in and saved the day, the attentive lover, the friend who listened.But all of that didn’t matter when the real him was safeguarded behind a wall of protection from anything resembling true emotion.Ask Harley, Cammie… All the other women in his life were aware he had nothing to give.
Now what?
“I know.Listen, can we talk?Out in the living room?”
They made their way there, both quiet.
“Here is fine.”
“I’ll grab some water.”And maybe a time machine if Paige had one of those.
He brought them both their drinks, then went back for the sandwiches.He finally decided that there was no way they were going to tackle the discussion they were about to have without alcohol, so he grabbed a decent bottle of Petite Sirah and two goblets and made his way back to Aurelie.She sat as still as the mountains that flanked them on all sides, as formidable as well.
Jace opened the wine, poured with a heavy hand, and set one in front of Aurelie.“Here you go.”
She smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
“Thanks.This is pretty much the worst-case scenario, isn’t it?For a man who didn’t want a relationship to have sex with a fake wife and end up with a broken condom on night one?”
He laughed, and that one break in the tension caused her to laugh as well.Before they knew it, they were both in a puddle on the couch, lost in fits of maniacal giggles.
When they calmed, he rubbed her back.“It’s not ideal,” he admitted, finally.That sent her into another fit of giggles.
