“Thane’s not all bad.” Algar shoves one of the bodies onto its back with his foot. “He just has to warm up to you. But for the record, he hates being challenged. I know you have your scythesword and all, but don’t go swinging it at him, all right? I don’t want him killing you in your sleep.”
Torjack blanches. “He’d do that?”
Rynthea tosses her head back to laugh as she moves past Algar. “I’d love to see the fucker try.”
When she enters the kitchen, I realize that I’ve been silent during the majority of their conversations. As I absorb my surroundings, I feel nauseated, and a tight sensation is developing in my chest. They all proceed with their tasks, moving the bodies or dragging them, as if this is a normal occurrence. There has to be close to fifteen of them.
So much blood. So muchdeath. Is it really going to be like this the whole way to Elphar?
My throat thickens with unwelcome emotions.
Dread. Uncertainty. Fear. None of this is normal.
“You okay, Zaira?” Algar pops up on my left, startling me.
“Yeah.” I force a nod. “I think I just… I think I need some air.”
“Oh, okay. Would you like me to—”
I hurry past him to reach the front door before he can finish. Once outside, I scurry around a corner while sucking in rapid breaths. When I find a wooden bench, I sit immediately and pull my knees up to my chest, breathing in and out with my head buried in my lap.
Just focus on your breath. Okay, Z? Breathe in and out.
That’s what Analla would tell me. But she isn’t here, and knowing that makes the breaths harder to control. Knowing I’m surrounded by a group of killers makes my body swirl with anxiety. I have no idea what kind of mess I’ve thrown myself into, but my mother was right. I’m in the muckiest muck of all, and there isnogoing back now.
Stuck. I’m stuck with my decision.
I don’t know if I can do this. Surviving seems even less likely now, and that terrifies me.
Hot tears fill my eyes, but I close them to soothe the burn. I want to tell myself I can make it work—but I’ve seen the worry in Rynthea’s eyes. If a minotaur as strong as her doesn’t believe she can make it through The Shallows, how can I? I don’t have a fraction of the strength she has, and I don’t know a damn thing about using weapons or combat. I’m an ordinary mortal in my twentieth year, who spends most of her life reading, sipping tea, volunteering at refugee centers, and baking. I’m much too simple for such madness.
And then my mind circles back to Dulan, another ordinary mortal. For some reason, the memory of him strikes me hard, to the point I feel stabbing pains in my stomach. That poor boy was murdered in cold blood because he helpedus. What will his grandmother do once she realizes he’s missing? How will she get her medicines now? Who will look for his body? Or has it been burned by the fires we left behind? Or worse, picked up by the Ruvainers and hung in the city center for all to call him a traitor?
I press the heels of my palms to my temples and squeeze my eyes shut.
Gods, this is too much.
I genuinely don’t know how I’m going to survive this journey. I’ll be lucky if I survive another hour of it.
Something soft rubs against my arm, then I feel dulled claws dig into my shirt as they climb their way to my upper body. I lift my head to see Zephra now perched on my shoulder. Her head is cocked at an unnatural angle as she ogles me. Her big eyes bore into mine for a few seconds, then she brings her head closer as I sniffle. Her furry crown rubs across my cheek to wipe some of my tears away.
“Oh, goodness.” I sniffle again, reaching for her with both hands. She settles into my cupped palms, peering up at me like she has a million questions she wants to ask. Dulan was right. Sheisreally soft, and her pink fur is beautiful. “You’re the cutest thing, thief and all.”
She chitters, pointing her little paws to my left. I look in the direction she’s pointing and spot Thane standing next to a nearby post with his mask down and his eyes trained on me.
Oh, gods. Don’t tell me he saw me crying.
As he approaches, Zephra hops out of my hands and scurries toward him. I quickly wipe my remaining tears away. For some odd reason, Zephra climbs up his body to reach his shoulder and stares at him expectantly. Thane lifts his hand, offering her a mound of almonds.
“Good girl,” I hear him murmur as she devours them.
Zephra hops off his shoulder and scampers away.
“Did you tell her to come and do that?” I ask.
“Not exactly.” He steps closer. “I told her to run over and smack some sense into you. She chose a nicer deed.”
I fight a smile, lowering my chin so he can’t see my puffy eyes, but I don’t stop side-eyeing him.
